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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141445">Wild</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReddieFreddie27/pseuds/ReddieFreddie27'>ReddieFreddie27</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movieverse)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Erik Lehnsherr, Bisexual Raven, Depression, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gas Lighting, Gay, Gay Charles Xavier, Healing, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pansexual Angel, Self-Hatred, Teen Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:14:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24141445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReddieFreddie27/pseuds/ReddieFreddie27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't be someone's little secret! It took me years to be comfortable in who I am and I won't let some boy take that away from me. I thought you understood that. I'm done being the local gay freak. I won't be anyone else's closet monster. Never again."<br/>or</p><p> in which Erik has a devastating crush on his childhood best friend Charles, but right when he gets the guts to tell him? Charlies ex moves back home. Chaos, heartbreak and confessions ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles Xavier/Original Character, Emma Frost/Erik Lehnsherr, Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Tryin Hard Not to Fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>______________ERIK______________<br/>Erik felt almost weightless underwater. There was this certain silence that engulfed him. Above him the music was muffled and sounded far away enough to feel otherworldly. A shadow appeared on the pools edge, hovering over him like a watchful guardian. A smile stretched across his boyish features as he pushed off the bottom of the pool and shot upward towards the surface. The lights illuminate the night as teenagers scatter across the yard. Couples snuggle tight in an awkward sort of newfound love way.</p><p>"You proud of yourself then? You're gonna get sick," he heard a familiar voice above him claim. He looked playfully towards the boy. His arms were crossed and he had one eyebrow raised. Even in the low lighting Erik could make out his breathtaking baby blues. They were soft and understanding yet reflected things about the world Erik didn't truly understand. He wore overalls with a yellow and white striped t shirt underneath. On anyone else it would look average but on him? It looked damn perfect. His brown curls were slightly askew and his skin shiny from the summer humidity. This only made the smaller boy more angelic to Erik. Charles Xavier was Erik's forever angel, but of course he wouldn't tell anyone else that.</p><p>"You worry too much," Erik smirked as he got out of the pool. A chill was obligatory considering he jumped into the pool, fully clothed, on a dare. His own band t shirt and ripped jeans were dripping water sadly. While in contrast Charles was dry and holding a red solo cup casually.</p><p>"Woah, is that a drink in your hand my dear?" Erik whispered and Charlie took a sip and ignored the question.</p><p>"Let's get you a change of clothes, idiot," Charles smiled as he guided Erik through the dispersed crowd of teenagers. In the foggy lighting Erik felt weightless. The pink twinkling lights were like a dream as he followed Charlie without question. Erik is pretty sure he would follow Charlie anywhere with no explanation needed, that's just how it was for the two. This sense of trust that was without fault, a bond forged through hard times and laughter.</p><p>Erik grabbed a towel and dried himself off enough to walk inside of the house. The inside was loud with conversation and music as the magic continued. Erik spotted a few of his own friends dancing and smiling in the dark which in turn made him feel warm. Erik chased what he liked to call "Montage Moments'. Moments where you feel as if you are in a movie and everything will undoubtedly be alright. He was having that moment right now.</p><p>"You'll have to borrow some of Alex's clothes," Charlie commented as they weaved through the crowd and up the stairs. Upstairs was quieter and the music was reduced to the occasional bass rumble. Erik realized what was happening and he blushed. He was upstairs...alone...with Charlie. He had admitted to himself he was infatuated with the boy years ago but things were different lately. Summer tended to do that to someone. Charlie had somehow acquired a tan fit for a model causing little freckles to pop up all over his face. He was a bit taller and had a more confident air around him. This wasn't at all good news for the pining Erik. Now everytime he was alone with Charlie he felt awkward and lonely. He would find himself accidentally staring, getting caught and then blushing to the point where he can warm a small country. He had attempted to make a move once or twice. It always ended in Erik backing out and running home with an excuse. It was pathetic, but he didn't even know if Charlie felt that way and he couldn't bare to lose his best friend. He wouldn't do that, no matter how much it hurts.</p><p>"Hey, you can go back to the party. Don't worry about me," Erik spoke suddenly trying to break away from the upcoming awkwardness as Charlie opened up Alex's bedroom.</p><p>"Don't worry about you? Someone has to," Charlie chuckled lightly, "Go ahead and change. I'll guard the door for you," Charlie winked and leaned on the wall.</p><p>"And they say chivalry is dead!" Erik exclaimed, causing Charlie to chuckle lightly as he began humming along effortlessly to the music. Erik studies Charlie's features for a moment before shaking his head and closing the door. He let out a puff of air and inwardly groaned. Making his way over to Alex's dresser he debated on what to do. It was a stupid situation he was in and made things complicated in an area of his life where things never were. He just needed to ask Charlie, get it out of the way. There's no way he can go the rest of his summer this way. He would just get changed into Alex's much nicer clothes and muster up whatever adrenaline he can and go for it. Yeah, he would just go for it. A smile stretched on Erik's features as he raced to get changed out of his soggy clothing.</p><p>________CHARLIE_______</p><p>Charlie tapped his converse to the beat downstairs where the party was in full flourish. It was still earlier in the grand scheme of things, a measly 11:30. He knew his sister was bound to be having fun in that group of lively teens. But Charlie was content up here waiting for Erik. He was only at Alex's party because Erik wanted to go. Charlie liked to party, don't get him wrong, but only with the right company. Everyone knew that about him and that's why it was always him and Erik. People had started just pairing their names together as if it's one word. If one wasn't able to be found the other most likely knew where to find him. No matter how much has changed or stayed the same Charlie could always go to Erik. Erik and his toothy smile and messy hair with the vintage band t shirts Charlie was secretly jealous of. But lately, Charlie began noticing something shifting. Erik was acting weird and almost distant which made Charlie think he did something wrong. He had gotten so stressed out about it he ranted to his sister for three hours going through everything he could have done wrong. Raven had fallen asleep but not before reassuring him Charlie could do no wrong in Erik's eyes. Whatever hidden meaning that held.</p><p>"Charlie, right?" Charlie was gripped from his troubling thoughts by another boy who emerged upstairs.</p><p>"Oh,yeah sorry," Charlie chuckled. The boy was somewhat familiar, probably from around town. They did live in a very small town, regrettably. He has dark brown curls that lay askew on his head like a crooked halo. His freckles could be made out even in this low lighting and Charlie admired them. They were shaped nicely unlike his own that randomly scattered across his face. He wore jeans with a t shirt promoting some brand Charlie didn't know of.</p><p>"Alex sent me. You're sisters trying to fight some chick," the boy smirked and pointed downstairs. Charlie rolled his eyes and nodded. Time to go home.</p><p>"Shit, Erik I gotta go stop Raven from breaking a skull," Charlie shouted at the door not pausing to make sure Erik heard him. Charlie races down the steps and found the scene unfolding. It was still in the early stages and Charlie was grateful as he searched for his sister. He spotted her flaming red hair in the crowd of brunettes and blondes. She was taking off her leather jacket and was quite clearly drunk.</p><p>"Say that again!" Raven shouted at the girl.</p><p>"Raven, oh my God," Charlie mumbled and pushed past the onlookers. He reached the middle and grabbed Ravens arm. She turned in fury but it momentarily sizzled after seeing her brother.</p><p>"Time to go home," Charlie ordered and Raven gritted her teeth.</p><p>"After I beat the shit out of entitled cheer bitch over here," Raven spat and Charlie rolled his eyes.</p><p>"She's not worth it. Come on let's just go home," Charlie tried again. The change her expression made it seem like Charlie had won but then:</p><p>"Yeah! Listen to your twink brother bitch and walk away!" Charlie closed his eyes and shook his head. So close.</p><p>"What the hell did you just say?" Raven ripped from Charlie's grip and threw the first blow. Raven was known for two things: her beauty and her brawn. She could seduce men into doing whatever she wanted and beat the shit out whoever tested her. It was a vicious cycle really. Charlie ran forward and the other girls friends did so as well. Both parties clearly not wanting to deal with this. Charlie, having gained an adequate amount of muscle since starting baseball, was able to drag his sloppy sister out of the party and towards his car.</p><p>"I'm gonna beat the shit out of her! She's dead! She can't...she can't talk to you like that..." Raven ranted before passing out in the passenger's seat. Charlie looked at her with a frown, he didn't understand why she felt she needed to prove herself. She was capable of extraordinary things. It was this damned town, it was enough to snuff out pure sunshine.</p><p>"What happened to her?" Charlie turned and saw Erik.</p><p>"Cat fight. It was fine and then the girl called me a...it doesn't matter," Charlie chuckled and hid something behind his eyes.</p><p>"Look before you leave can we talk?" Erik was struggling with something, that much Charlie could see. Charlie furrowed his brow and nodded. All attention turning to Erik.</p><p>"Of course, are you alright?" Charlie asked laying a soft hand on Erik's arm. Erik took a deep breath at that and wondered if Charlie had any idea the effect he had. Erik closed his eyes and shook out his nerves but before he could talk the car door flung open and Raven vomited all over Charlie's yellow converse.</p><p>"Oh shit I'm sorry Char," Raven started crying hysterically and Charlie gagged.</p><p>"Shit that smells, it's okay Raven just...I'll have to rain check that talk Erik. I've got a drunk sister and vomit covered shoes. Call me tomorrow though!" Charlie kicked off his shoes and threw them in the backseat in a gas station bag before getting in. Raven was mumbling through tears as she looked out the window pathetically. Charlie shook his head and simply sent an apologetic wave to Erik before driving towards home.</p><p>____________ERIK_____________</p><p>Erik stood and watched the red brake lights disappear into the cold night. The road was uneasily abandoned at night and the street lights flickered creating strange shadows. He sort of felt an increasing weight in his stomach the longer he stood. He was so close to telling Charlie everything. Erik was half relieved Raven threw up and stopped him. He knew it would end in some form of disaster that he wasn't emotionally capable to take. What was he expecting? For Charlie to return his feelings and then to live happily ever after? That just doesn't happen in this town. Charles Xavier was one of four openly gay boys in the whole damn town. Two of which are currently together. The other being Charlie's ex which fortunately moved away not too long after the break up. Everyone could tell Charlie was proud of himself and who he was. But also he was smart enough to keep his eyes off the right people to avoid a black eye. Erik hated when Charlie got into fights, the lilac bruises sprout on his skin in such a sad manner. Charlie's gotten tougher over the years and can handle himself if needed. But, even still Charlie was the softest boy Erik knew. Erik could never be like him...he wasn't brave. Erik wasn't even sure what his sexuality was much less be proud of it. All he knew was Charlie gave him tornados in his stomach and his dad would kick him out if he found out about Erik's wandering thoughts. Erik knew that in the end he couldn't take the name calling, abuse and rejection. He saw what Charlie went through on a daily basis and how cruel people could be. Charles Xavier was Erik's saving grace, the bravest boy he ever met and if Erik could just borrow some of that confidence...maybe he wouldn't be so sulky. He could actually do something about this crush monster eating up his heart.</p><p>Small sputters of rain began falling from the sky and Erik was grateful. He was sweating from the prospect of admitting his feelings a few moments ago. From everything falling apart. It was stupid to even attempt it, even if by some miracle Charlie didn't laugh in his face who's to say he wanted a relationship? Erik let the water soak him up again as he began walking home. Far from the noisy party and all the drunk love he wished he could have.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Heart Shakes, Bends and Breaks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"I wanna sleep next to you </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that's all I wanna do right now </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I wanna come home to you </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But home is just a room full of my safest sounds"</em>
</p><p>_____________________________________CHARLIE__________________________________</p><p>Charlie had managed to get up with the sun despite his headache. He tried to make sure Ravens hangover cure was prepared for her by time her eyes fluttered open. He knew it would be a gnarly one too, considering they got to Level 4 :Sloppy Bitch last night. As he cooked Charlie had his record player on allowing music to fill the empty morning hallways. His parents were out of town as usual, he didn't know what for and he wasn't sure he cared anymore. Most summers it was him and Raven alone, his parents having gone to do something "important". Charlie flipped the egg over to create a golden omelet. It sizzled sweetly and he hummed playfully in the kitchen. Despite his smile his brain kept dragging back to the previous night. Was Erik alright? He seemed nervous and shaken outside. Erik always seemed that way now, like he was holding his breath constantly. He rarely made eye contact with people and Charlie thought that was a crime. Erik has very beautiful eyes, in fact as a person Erik was beautiful. Charlie told him this when he felt Erik needed the confidence boost. Charlie, knowing he would answer, picked up his home phone and dialed the familiar number. The purple cord twirled in his fingers as he served the omelets.</p><p>"Good morning Charles," Erik greeted formally and Charlie was happy to hear he sounded better.</p><p>"Charles? You sound like my mum," Charlie made a disgusted noise and Erik chuckled.</p><p>"Anyway, good morning, hope the hangover isn't too awful?" Charlie asked.</p><p>"Barely making an appearance although I'm sure the same can't be said for your sister."</p><p>"She's still out actually and I am so sorry about last night. She owes me new shoes after throwing up all over them," Charlie shuddered and Erik let out this laugh that made Charlie smile.</p><p>"Don't sweat it. It was nothing anyways...parents still gone?" Erik's voice sounded unsteady for a moment. He was lying.</p><p>"Don't change the subject are you okay?" Charlie pressed.</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"Erik, I'm serious you seemed shaken up. I don't have to beat anyone up do I?"</p><p>"No, nothing like that. It was nothing."</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Shit, Charlie you gotta stop worrying. I'm fine."</p><p>"It's just that you've been acting wei—"</p><p>"Shit, my mom is calling me I gotta go. I'll see you later," Erik spoke quickly and hung up before Charlie got the chance to reply.</p><p>He stood there holding the phone in frustration as he tapped his foot impatiently. Why wouldn't Erik just tell him? They've known each other since they were in diapers! Are they going to keep secrets now? Charlie let out a frustrated breath and shook his head. He was overreacting and if it was seriously important Erik would tell him. No need to worry. Charlie picked up the tray and began the journey to his sisters bedroom. No need to worry.</p><p> </p><p>__________ERIK_________</p><p> </p><p>Erik's hand lingered on the phone as he stared at it on its handle. The concern in Charlie's voice echoed in his ears. Acting weird? Was Charlie noticing Erik's change in behavior? Of course he was, he noticed everything. He hated how much Charlie worried about him. Charlie had acquired a sad shade of blue in his eyes ever since The Asshole™️ broke his heart. So, Erik hates adding to that. He remembers the week Charlie tried convincing himself he was fine. It was winter break...</p><p>
  <em>They sat on the couch in silence. The absence of snow creating just a bitter brightness outside. The duo were curled up in blankets to keep the cold at bay. Charlie's head of unusually unkempt curls were laying on Erik's lap. It had been three days since Jack broke Charlie's heart and those three days were spent crying, breaking diets and watching romcoms. Any mention of Jack threw Charlie into a hysterical sadness Erik had no idea how to deal with. Not that Raven was any help, she was caught up in her girlfriends band. "Erik, I'm never loving again," Charlie grumbled as his hand reached for another mini Hershey bar. Erik ran his fingers through Charlie's curls in a comforting manner but it still gave him butterflies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "That's not true or at least I hope it isn't. Look, that asshole didn't deserve you. Plus you can do so much better," Erik tried. He hated seeing Charlie cry. It was horribly depressing, like a child losing their pet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "You have to say that as my best friend. What if I die alone?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bullshit, you're amazing! You're funny and sweet and care so much about everyone! You have an irresistible accent people die for and your handsome as hell! Any gay would be lucky!" Erik complimented before he could stop himself. It wasn't out of the ordinary. The two boys often complimented one another when the other needed a boost. But things were different now... he heard Charlie sniffle and sit up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wow, that was the nicest thing Erik," Charlie hugged Erik intensely and he tensed before relaxing into it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Plus, you're stuck with my annoying ass forever so you won't ever be really alone."</em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Erik you could never annoy me." Charlie spoke softly and planted a kiss on Erik's cheek that wasn't meant to be major. But to Erik it was everything. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Was he obvious that day, about how head over heels he was? He groaned softly and went to the garage to grab his skateboard. He needed an outlet, to get out of this house for awhile and clear his thoughts. Erik was, as always, needing a distraction. Needing some way to forget he was so different from everyone else in a town where individuality means trouble. He just wanted to keep his head down but even then trouble found its way to him. Erik was a tall and scrawny looking boy but despite this he could throw a hefty punch. His height gave him an advantage over the neighborhood bullies that teased him over his religion or looks. Whatever they chose to prod at on that particular day. Erik wasn't bothered by it because if they were harboring him that meant it was a rare occasion that Charlie was being left alone. Because if they were focused on the Jewish misfit then that means Charlie could breathe. Erik wished he could breathe but he's been holding this subconscious breath for the longest time. Years if he thinks about it. The only time he ever felt calm was when Charlie was with him. Something about his soft yet stern nature made Erik feel lighter. "Be careful!" He heard his mother call from behind him. "I'm always careful!" He assured as he left his home and glided down the streets. It was a beautiful day and he knew all his friends were probably hungover and not enjoying it. Music blared in his ears as he made his way in no particular direction. Raven had made him a playlist a couple weeks ago and sent it to him for when he was in a 'mood'. It wasn't half bad, Raven had taste. Taste that had gotten significantly better ever since she started dating Marina. In the end he was just grateful to have the lack of white noise. Erik hummed as he passed a few people as he made it closer to town. He high fived a few kids with a smile. Erik was feeling more relaxed, slowed down to check the time. With a grin he changed directions towards the old ice cream shop where a boy with fire red curls was sure to be working. A foot hit Erik's back full force. With a huff he flew forward and landed on the hot concrete. He felt his skin scrape uncomfortably and he saw small specks of blood appear.</p><p>"What the hell?" Erik turned his face heated from his anger. His eyes met those of Jacob Westbrook, Luke Jones and Victor Duke. The trio of assholes who go out looking for kids to pick on. They were all, as Charlie put it, 'homophobic, racist douchebags with a bad sense of fashion and no self dignity or pride. Overall sleazeballs.'</p><p>"What was that?" Jacob stepped forward maliciously. His dark eyes searching Erik's light ones. Erik didn't want to show any fear, he wanted to be irresistibly confident like one boy he knew.</p><p>"You can't just shove me off my boa—" the punch was swift and rattled Erik's whole body. He fell backwards in shock before seeing red. Maybe it was the fact that he needed some peace for once or the boy on his mind but Erik curled his fists. With force he wasn't even sure he had, he threw a punch that clocked Jacob in the jaw. It an instant he was on the ground.</p><p>"Oh shit," Erik whispered as adrenaline pumped through his veins. He looked at Luke and Victor who were shocked. Victor checked on an unconscious Jacob while Luke charged. Luke Jones was a rather hefty boy who was on the high school wrestling team. Erik knew he was toast.</p><p>"Come on big boy," Erik spat with his last sliver of snark before getting his world rocked.</p><p>He put up a fight but before he knew it he was on the ground being kicked and punched like a rag doll. He tried to leave his body to retreat into his mind where he could be comfortable in his own thoughts. Where Charlie resides.</p><p>"Come on idiot," Victor said as they grabbed Jacob and left Erik bleeding and broken in an alley.</p><p>Erik wasn't sure how long he was on the concrete but when he came to again it was starting to get dark out. He took a breath and hissed when it shot pain through his chest. He knew he was a wreck and wouldn't be able to make it home. He leaned against a brick wall and took out his phone with his bloody fingers. He couldn't call his mom she would worry too much and his dad wasn't even an option. When he clicked his phone on he saw missed calls by both Charlie and Raven. A few texts questioning whether or not he's okay repeat down his notifications. Erik smirked in pain as he dialed the number.</p><p>"What the hell?! I've been worried sick! Where are you?" Charlie's voice boomed through the speaker.</p><p>"Calm down, I'm by Mulberry can you come get me? And please don't freak out," Erik spoke trying to sound normal</p><p>. "Are you okay? Shit Erik you're going to be the death of me one day. I'm on my way," Charlie promised and Erik chuckled spitting out blood.</p><p>"Gotta keep you on your toes, darling. See you in a bit," Erik hung up and coughed out blood. He was starting to feel it all. He knew he had bruised if not broken ribs. Each breath was a chore at this point.</p><p>"Shit," Erik mumbled and lit a cigarette weakly. His lightly flickered an orange hue that made the darkening town lighten. He hated smoking and didn't know why he did it. His parents smoke so he supposed he just picked it up one day. It took ten minutes before Charlie's old car was zooming down Mulberry and towards Erik. Charlie was out of the car and by Erik in the blink of an eye. His big blue eyes widen in concern as the pad of his thumb caresses Erik's bloody cheek softly. "Who did this to you?" Charlie's voice cracked in sadness as he held Erik who was trying to look okay.</p><p>"The usual suspects. I can't go...my dad will kill me," Erik mumbled and Charlie's hugged Erik softly. Charlie understood Erik's father and the complicated relationship they had. "I'll clean you up. Come on," Charlie took Erik's bloody hand and helped him into the car.</p><p>"You really had me scared. You always answer my calls," Charlie spoke after a minute of silence. Erik noticed his hands shivering slightly.</p><p>"Sorry about that, I'm pretty sure I passed out," Erik scoffed and Charlie looked over to him anxiously.</p><p>"Dammit, well tell me you at least stood up to them," Charlie questioned curiously.</p><p>"You'll be happy to know I did. I sent a punch right towards Jacob and knocked him straight on his ass!" Erik shouted despite the pain.</p><p>"That's my boy," Charlie praises and Erik went red. <em>That's my boy... </em></p><p>"Raven is at Marinas so it will just be us. Probably better that way, she would have asked loads of questions." Charlie pulled into the driveway and parked the car looking at Erik for a moment. He was thinking about what to say. Erik could see the trouble in Charlie's eyes and the way they flickered in the night.</p><p>"Listen I..." Charlie started and Erik's heart raced. But just as quickly Charlie's face changed and he smiled, "I need to get you patched up." He decided to say and Erik watched him escape the vehicle in a rush.</p><p>_________CHARLIE_________</p><p>Erik sat on the bathroom counter lazily as Charlie patched him up. Charlie's fingers were soft and delicate as they brushed across his skin with a warm cloth. It stung like a mother but Erik didn't show it. Charlie stood unreasonably close to Erik as he reached out. It created all sorts of awkward feelings for Erik but Charlie seemed unfazed. His blue eyes simply focusing on the task at hand. Erik's eyes wandered until they landed on Charlie's who were scrunched up sadly. Charlie observed Erik's bruised face with sadness. The lilac shades surrounded his bright eyes making them dull down. Slowly Charlie put small bandages on the cuts on Erik's cheek. The Band-Aids gave his harsh features a softer, more boyish look. Charlie knew that as soon as Erik left he would take them off but for now he was patched up. Sometime in between the cuts and bandages Charlie's hand slowed as his eyes locked with Erik's. The only noise being the passing cars and pounding of Charlie's heart. The two boys both became aware of how close they were. The things that could be implied if someone saw them. It wasn't unusual for Charlie to patch up the chaotic boy but the air was different. Maybe the world tipped a little too far on its axis or Cupid sneezed in their general direction. Whatever it was kept them glued to their places. Erik wasn't sure what overtook him in that moment. He didn't know what courage balled up in his heart but he found his hands a resting place on Charlie's hips in a very light ,almost feathery, fashion. Charlie swallowed thickly as his face ran hot. What the hell is he doing? Does he even realize? Charlie was screaming inside and Erik was pretty sure he had died and come back to life ten times already. Charlie decided to test the mood and put his hand on Erik's cheek slowly. It was like time stopped just for the two of them. The earth slowed and the silence grew as they made a decision. Slowly, and with great care, Erik leaned in. Charlie hesitated before throwing caution to the wind. Maybe they were both lonely and sad or tired of being broken hearted. Whatever it was, it was working.</p><p>
  <em>"Cause I bloom, I bloom just for you..." </em>
</p><p>Charlie almost didn't realize his phone was ringing. The noise rang through the quiet bathroom bringing both boys back to reality. They jumped back realizing what was happening and cleared their throats awkwardly. Erik's eyes were wide as saucers. His hand on his cheek subconsciously as he tried to feel Charlie's warmth. Charlie felt the ghost of a sting from Erik's hands. It was wildly intimate and Charlie was glad it got cut off. What was he thinking? This was Erik! Not some random boy he couldn't...but what if...No!</p><p>"I'm gonna get that," Charlie spoke finally and backed out of the bathroom. There was a stiffness in the air that was so strong Charlie was sure it could be felt worldwide. So he grabbed his buzzing phone and answered it not bothering to see who it was. He ran downstairs cursing himself.</p><p>"Hello?" Charlie heard a familiar voice that made him stop in his tracks. <em>No. Not now! Why is he even calling? </em></p><p>"Who is this?" Charlie asked knowing full and well. He would be an idiot not to remember the voice that used to call him every night like a dream.</p><p>"It's...It's Jack," his name was like piercing poison. It was like a hand ripping the heart out of Charlie's chest all bloody and gross and disgusting. It was Charlie's knees wobbling pathetically despite him standing still.</p><p>"Why are you calling?" Charlie tried to act strong and guarded.</p><p>"I'm back in Brooksville ." He spoke simply and Charlie frowned.</p><p>"What? Why? You just moved," Charlie asked harshly.</p><p>"My dad...we couldn't live there anymore. And I know I'm the last person you probably want to talk to but Charlie...shit I don't know what I was thinking. maybe with all this bullshit thrown at me I've gotten some perspective. The reason I called was to ask if you'd have coffee with me? Just so we can talk?" Jacks voice was gentle and had a tone of genuine desperateness that took Charlie by surprise. He was silent as he thought. It was just coffee and a talk. Closure is something he deserves after two years together. And Charlie wanted to know what happened with Jack's dad. The man was always...difficult. But then again why should he? After all Charlie was just starting to feel like himself again. Everything in him wanted to ask Erik's thoughts but after their almost...he didn't feel it was appropriate.</p><p>"Just a coffee Jack. Nothing more," Charlie decided.</p><p>"Yes! I mean yeah of course. I'm free whenever it works for you."</p><p>"Fine, tomorrow at...two meet me at Blue Jays. Don't be late because I will leave."</p><p>"Wouldn't dream of it. I'll see you then."</p><p>"See you then." Charlie hung up with his heart pounding out of his chest. What had he just agreed to? He wanted to scream! Why would he do that? Especially now after what just happened upstairs? Charlie kicked himself sadly and ran a hand through his hair.</p><p>"Shit," he whispered in defeat. Charlie could have just imagined the moment upstairs. Erik didn't swing that way...right? He's not...Erik's known for the way he can finesse a conversation and get any girl he wants. Whatever that was? It was nothing and Erik probably regretted it happening the second it began. Maybe Jack has worked himself out and then they can make their relationship work again. Lord knows Erik will probably have a girl on his arm next week anyway. Not that it bothered Charlie. He didn't think about Erik that way...right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Wear Me Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_____________ERIK_______________</p>
<p>Erik could hear Charlie's fumbling footsteps race down the stairs. He was stunned and frozen. His calloused hand touched his cheek softly as he fought to process what happened. Had he and Charlie almost kissed? He could have been imagining it but Erik swore he saw it. Charlie was a naturally affectionate person so it could have just been nothing. But, at the same time a nagging voice whispered the miraculous possibility that it meant everything. Erik's stomach lurched in all different directions as his face grew hot. Charles Xavier would have kissed him if his damn phone hadn't gone off.</p>
<p>"Holy shit," Erik mumbled with a chuckle. He shouldn't be so giddy. It wasn't even a real kiss but something about the idea of it was enough. The idea that Charlie would ever go for a guy like him was enough.</p>
<p>"See you soon," Erik heard from downstairs. Charlie sounded strange and his voice was uncharacteristically harsh. There were a few muffled words and pacing that Erik could hear. He wondered who was on the phone. Maybe it was Raven and he just told her everything. No, he wouldn't do that. Especially not after what happened to him last year. After a few minutes he heard Charlie renter the bedroom. Erik tried to look normal as Charlie came into view. He was holding his phone nervously and his eyes were troubled. Shit, Erik thought, I've ruined everything.</p>
<p>"Charlie look I'm sorry about what happ-" Erik began.</p>
<p>"That was Jack," Charlie spoke with an echo of heartbreak in that name. A shattering echo that made Erik's body stiffen. His insides felt like fire and his heart bled through his shirt. He felt like he had just drank poison and was slowly dying. But of course he couldn't show that so instead:</p>
<p>"Really? What did he want?" Erik asked with a forced tone of casualness.</p>
<p>"He said he's had time to think and wants to have coffee...to talk I guess?" Charlie croaked out in confusion. Charlie got this expression on his face when he was conflicted. Erik would usually chuckle and tell him to chill but he couldn't this time.</p>
<p>"Coffee? Did you say yes?" Erik knew the answer was either going to mend or completely obliterate his teenage heart.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I mean It's just coffee Erik. I figured I deserve closure or whatever." Charlie talked with his hands dramatically but Erik's ears were ringing. His whole body trembled sadly as he fought back tears.</p>
<p>"Charlie you know how he is though. It's not just coffee for him. He's going to try to get back together," Erik warned trying to sound stable.</p>
<p>"I know, I know. But...what if he's changed? Sometimes people just need time to be comfortable in themselves," Charlie twiddled with his fingers. There was silence as things were said through eye contact.</p>
<p>"Not all people change Charlie. Not all people deserve your second or third chances."</p>
<p>"It's just coffee. It's not like I'm gonna marry the guy." Charlie began to get frustrated. First Erik tried to kiss him causing a whole slew of old emotions to rise and then he's scolding him for wanting closure?</p>
<p>"It's a bad idea and you know it. You sell yourself short Charles. He isn't a good guy, you should raise your standards a bit. Maybe then you'll find someone who will treat you better." Erik finished his voice harsher than he intended but riddled with hidden messages. Someone like me.</p>
<p>"Don't be mad at me...I just want closure. That's not fair. And why do you even care if I get back with Jack? You're always busy with your flavor of the week. I've barely seen you and when I do you're distant. Did I do something? Because if I did just tell me," Charlie fumed his voice riddled with emotions. Charlie's foot was tapping the tile flooring and his hair was askew from gesturing frantically. Erik stared at Charlie and frowned. Even in this state, Charles was gorgeous.</p>
<p>"I'm not...I, you know what? I don't care. Go get back with Jack if that's what you want. It's clearly none of my business. And don't shame me for enjoying myself just because you've been sulking for months! Just because you're miserable doesn't mean I have to be too!" Erik tried to stay calm but he was never that good with his emotions. Charlie's face fell into one of pain and he bit his lip. He took a step back and looked at his feet. Erik knew he went too far, he should apologize.</p>
<p>"Get out," Charlie looked up with glossy eyes as he pointed violently to the door. Erik knew he should apologize but he was too proud in that moment. So, instead Erik grabbed his stuff, ignoring the pain, and prepared to leave.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry Erik," Charlie apologized. Erik stopped and resisted the urge to turn and meet his eyes.</p>
<p>"What for?" Erik whispered through clear heartbreak.</p>
<p>"For sulking," Charlie went silent but Erik felt the weight of those words. Charlie wasn't sure how Erik was feeling and if what he said held any truth behind it. But what Charlie did know is he desperately needed the closure this coffee meeting would bring. Erik swallowed thickly before racing out of the home before he could be seen.</p>
<p>As soon as he was on his board again, tears fell down his cheeks in big salty lines through the bandaids. He was stupid to ever think Charlie would be interested. Not when Jack who is the pinnacle of being strong and confident exists. With his photography and philosophy. Erik barely passed his classes last year. Charlie was so broken and needed fixing. Erik was broken too and wasn't able to fix things. All he seemed to know how to do is destroy. This was evidently clear from their argument. You couldn't even apologize! Charlie deserves better than me. But he also deserves better than Jack freaking Collins. He keeps selling himself short.</p>
<p>"Screw this," Erik mumbled in the night sky as he raced home.</p>
<p>______CHARLIE_____</p>
<p>Time ticked away as Charlie looked at himself in the mirror quizzically. He wanted to look good, better than usual. When Raven had found out about everything  she refused to aid him in his search for an outfit but ended up lending her shoulder for him to cry on anyways. She rambled on and on about how bad of a decision this was and Charlie was almost certain she was right. Jack was a difficult person on a good day but at the same time Charlie wanted closure. He wanted to understand what he had done wrong for Jack to break up with him after two years. What changed? All these questions had gone unanswered and now here was his chance. They hadn't seen each other in months and Charlie was sure he looked different. He grew a few inches and now was a little more confident when he walked. Charlie's painted nails delicately placed his curls in a good way, the baby blue shade popping in the backdrop of his brown waves.</p>
<p>"Hm," Charlie hummed as raindrops hit his window sadly. Was this the mood for the day? Charlie asked himself. Due to the rainy weather he decided to stick to his trusty black overalls that normally earned him compliments and a light pink long sleeve under it. His eyes wandered to the worn converse he had gotten from Erik for his birthday. They seemed to sting on his feet as he stepped into them. Like molten weights of guilt that made his stomach hurt. They hadn't talked since the fight and it was killing Charlie. But, he also couldn't get the feeling of being Erik's burden out of his system. Not to mention his carelessness. He had gotten over his debilitating crush on Erik ages ago! That's partially the reason he started dating Jack and now...Charlie shook his head. There's nothing there with Erik, he wasn't interested in boys. He was probably just delusional from the fight.</p>
<p>Charlie grabbed his phone and smiled to himself in the mirror before heading downstairs.</p>
<p>"I still think it's a bad idea!" Raven shouted from the couch as Charlie left the house.</p>
<p>JayBird's is a locally owned diner that's been around for longer than anyone can really remember. Some say it's older than the town itself which made Charlie smile. It tends to give you that feeling of being caught in a scene of romantic intimacy in a vintage film. The smell of chocolate and old secrets, forbidden midnight meetings and stolen kisses. It's timelessness was something Charlie grasped too. It was always cause for smile. But when Charlie pulled into the vintage themed diner his heart was racing uncontrollably. His hands shivered despite the humidity. Checking himself one last time, Charlie shut off the car and stepped into the rain.</p>
<p>"Shit!" Charlie cursed as he realized he had forgotten his umbrella. Or more likely Raven had taken it and not returned it. The raindrops fell on him mercilessly soaking his curly hair as he ran inside. Charlie was ten minutes early to allow himself time to get adjusted and relax before Jack arrived. What would he look like now? What would he act like now? Charlie wanted to vomit as he sat down in a booth and waited patiently. This was a bad idea and that was sinking in now.</p>
<p>"Charlie," a gentle voice came from behind him and he stiffened. He hadn't prepared for this properly, seeing Jack again could be catastrophic.</p>
<p>"Jack, hey," Charlie greeted as Jack came into view. He was wearing light ripped jeans and a white t shirt that hung loosely on his body under a jean jacket. His blonde hair was slicked to the side with the same gel he always used. His ghostly gray eyes were magnificent in the afternoon lighting. He looked older, more like he's grown into himself. He had a nose ring now so that's something new for sure. Charlie cursed himself and the butterflies throwing a party in his anxious stomach.</p>
<p>"You look good," Jack spoke after a moment of silence between the two as they just observed one another.</p>
<p>"I feel good," Charlie smiled softly. Jack nodded with his own smile.</p>
<p>"That's good, you deserve that," Jack spoke clearer and more gentle it was refreshing. The waitress gave them two coffees before retreating once again. Charlie wished he could call Erik and ask him to help. But after yesterday there was a lot of unspoken complications that made Charlie queasy.</p>
<p>"Jack...," Charlie tried but his heart was tearing out of his chest towards Jack. The power Jack holds over Charlie, it terrifies him.</p>
<p>"I know I hurt you and I don't even deserve to be talking to you right now so thank you," Jack looked at his hands nervously.</p>
<p>"I just want to know why. When did you...when did you not love me anymore?" Charlie kept his composure at those words. He hadn't truly faced everything like he promised everyone he had. He locked it away.</p>
<p>"Not love you anymore? I could never not love you Charlie. I was scared and a child. I think my brain was looking for someone to blame for all the shit going on with me and I projected that unto you instead of my dad. I needed someone to blame and I was too blind to see that it wasn't you. You were the only thing stable in my life and I cut you off. I hurt you and gave you no explanation and for that I am deeply sorry. And as soon as I walked away I regretted it... I missed you. I missed your hands and your smell and that goofy smile." Jack's words were said in a very soft manner that left Charlie breathless. The Jack in front of him was so much more emotionally stable and kind than the rebellious devil he was months ago.</p>
<p>"Oh," Charlie managed his eyes glossing up.</p>
<p>"And...after we moved and shit hit the fan my dad lost his job and my mom was keeping us afloat. Things went from bad to worse and dad needed to take out his anger in some way," Jack drifted off into harsh memories and Charlie took his hand without thinking. It was a gesture they'd done a thousand times. It was silly but Charlie was almost surprised to feel the warmth in his hand. It hadn't been that long but it was still shocking. You still fit. Charlie thought with silent relief.</p>
<p>"Then my mom came to her senses and we left. But with nowhere to go it's back to Brookville. In the months between, we hopped from place to place. But I guess anything was better than being in the same house as my dad. I let him control my fear and used him as an excuse to be an asshole. I held myself on this pedestal but life knocked me out, Charlie. At that point I decided that if I was coming home I was going to find you again. So, I fixed myself and got better at vocalizing how I felt. I understand what you meant back then. Sharing how you feel isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength," Jack's eyes met Charlie's across the table. Charlie remembered that conversation, it was one of the only fights they ever had.</p>
<p>"Sorry for rambling," Jack rubbed the back of his neck and Charlie smiled softly.</p>
<p>"No, it's nice. It's nice to hear how you are."</p>
<p>They both were sitting silently in the back of the diner an occasional tear falling. Jack from reliving a nightmare and Charlie from what he assumed was guilt. He hated that Jack didn't come to him for help. Charlie was shaking slightly at the thought of that greasy bastard laying a hand on Jack. Charlie didn't know what to say. Instead he went to the other side of the booth and embraced Jack in a hug. He smells the same. Charlie smiles at that. Jack gripped tightly onto Charlie's figure.</p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay," Charlie whispered in Jack's ear delicately.</p>
<p>"I'm glad you're safe now," Charlie leaned away and wiped Jacks tears away. All the anger and frustration that Charlie had felt melted away with each tear drop. Sometimes people needed time to grow. And Jack just took longer because he had to fight through concrete to do so.</p>
<p>"I missed you," Jack whispered back his voice breaking halfway through.</p>
<p>"I missed you too."</p>
<p>After a few moments the duo calmed down and Charlie returned to his side of the booth. Mostly because he knew that if he remained that close things would happen that he was unsure of.</p>
<p>"I know after everything you probably despise me but...I was wondering if we can try us again?" Jack was speaking in a sure tone. Charlie's heart fluttered but his mind raced rapidly. Charlie wanted to blurt out a yes but was it wise? Jack has ripped out Charlie's heart mere months ago and now he was back asking for a second chance. Charlie shifted and held onto Jack's hands pondering the question.</p>
<p>"I..." Charlie broke his hand away and stood up. He wasn't sure why exactly but the diner suddenly felt so small. Too intimate. He heard Jack call his name as he sped out the door and back into the afternoon air. He didn't care if it was raining he just wanted to scream.</p>
<p>"Charlie, wait," Jack grabbed his arm gently and turned him around in one swift motion. Charlie's mind screamed at how bad of an idea this was but before he could protest Jack's lips met his own. It felt like fireworks on the Fourth of July with your favorite person. It was like every phone call they shared. It was the inevitable ending of it all. Charlie tasted the coffee and sugar as he leaned into it. In the arms of Jack was where comfort was. Where that familiarity was. Jack's hands traveled to Charlie's hips to hold him closer as Charlie held his cheeks desperately. Charlie's mind drifted ever so slightly to another boy before getting snapped back to now. The kiss was sort of sad as well. Like a mix of all the emotions Charlie felt these past months. It was a conversation, it felt good.</p>
<p>They broke away and leaned their foreheads together as rain pelted down on them. It was wildly romantic and Charlie's knees wobbled. His eyes were wide and bright as he looked into Jack's excited and love struck ones.</p>
<p>"I've missed that," Jack chuckled.</p>
<p>"Look, Jack, as much as I want to jump back into this you really hurt me. I just got myself back to normal and I can't get back together with you just for you to decide you don't want me anymore. You say you've grown a lot, then let's take this slow and see where it goes. It's going to take time to earn that trust back." Charlie held his hand on Jack's chest and said the words slowly. His heart screamed for another kiss but Charlie could still feel those brick walls. The ones he built after Jack left.</p>
<p>"I understand and if there's someone else I understand that as well," Jack replied calmly. Charlie looked up to him in surprise. Was there someone else? A certain spiky brunette with a knack for vinyl and skateboards popped in Charlie's head. He wanted to kick himself, Erik didn't think of Charlie like that. He saw Charlie as a sulky teenage boy with nothing better to do than follow his friends around to escape the crippling loneliness. The loneliness that disappeared when Erik was around. Charlie inwardly groaned, this stupid childhood crush has got to go far away again.</p>
<p>"Thank you," Charlie gave Jack a hug and couldn't help but to feel torn over something so uncertain. But, one thing is for sure, this was bound to end bloody for someone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading and I hope everyone is staying healthy! Sending well wishes and good vibes your way!<br/>Have a lovely day/night!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Time and Space Between Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Growing distance<br/>Free of explanations<br/>We're getting deeper in this mess</p><p>______________ERIK______________</p><p>The first thing Erik felt when he woke up was his physical pain. The lilac, violet and dandelion shades scattered across his body harshly. Each movement causing them to stretch and scream. The scrapes that covered his palms grabbed the white sheets as they stung profusely. He was sure he had bruised ,if not broken, ribs. Erik sat up with a groan and took a few labored breaths before being able to move again. Any logical person would have gone to the hospital but for Erik's family that wasn't really an option. His mother couldn't hold a job and when his father was home all he did was yell and cause more problems than solutions. So, he would just have to let his body heal however it wanted to and hope he wasn't permanently injured.</p><p>The second thing Erik felt when he woke up was his emotional pain. This was, if possible, much worse. His heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest all bloody and gross. He felt like his brain was fuzzy and nothing made sense. Charlie had wanted to kiss Erik in that moment, that much Erik was sure of. His injured palm found its way to his face as he placed it where Charlie's was. Erik wanted to take what he said back because he hadn't meant it. He cherished the moments he and Charlie shared. Charlie meant so much to him and Erik struggled to let him know that. He wanted to scream at this point, Charlie was going to go on an unintentional date with Jack and get dragged back into that relationship. And instead of being the voice of reason he and Charlie hashed it out. Now, Jack would be back because Charlie loved people and he loved giving people second chances. If he could just stop having this stupid crush then everything would be okay. He wouldn't care so much about Charlie and Jack. He could get a full nights sleep without crying pathetically to himself. Actually enjoy his summer and make stupid mistakes. But he didn't want to make stupid mistakes, he wanted Charlie and his goofy smile.</p><p>Erik stood and tried to straighten his posture best he could. He knew his dad would be home and the last thing Erik needed was a lecture. Because Erik's dad held certain expectations of the boy. Outdated rules on masculinity led Erik to believe he was weak most of his life. Over the years Erik learned to hide his feelings well enough to keep his dad quiet. Charlie was always saying showing your feelings was a sign of strength not weakness. Some great philosophy that stuck with Erik. While Erik usually held his own in a fight coming home in this bad of a state was sure to cause something of a reaction from his dad.</p><p>Erik wasn't really looking forward to the day ahead. He knew he would have to talk to Charles eventually but he didn't want to any time soon. Sure, it had been two days of silence but he couldn't bring himself to talk. Which he hated feeling, Charlie was supposed to be his green light. He also felt bad for his mood considering he was supposed to be hyped for the Peaches concert. They'd all been looking forward to it since they'd booked it. It was a big step up from performing at teenage parties.</p><p>"Erik, phone!" His mother's voice traveled up the stairs. Erik groaned and took a deep breath before going down the steps.</p><p>He rounded the corner and saw his dad standing there. Erik's father was an unruly man. His spiky brown hair was greasy and messier than usual from whatever bar fight he got in. Erik inherited most of his looks from his mother and as the years passed he was increasingly grateful. The sunken cheekbones and haunting features were nothing Erik wanted to see in the mirror. Erik noticed that his father's eyes were distracted and far away, which meant he wasn't sober. Which meant it was time for Erik to leave.</p><p>"Here, it's that Summers boy," His dad shoved the phone into Erik's chest causing him to grind his teeth in pain. Erik's dad walked away back to the living room and out of sight.</p><p>"Hey," Erik answered rubbing his ribs uncomfortably.</p><p>"Hey, everyone's heading down to the barrens for the day. A day of chill before we are all scrambling this weekend. Wanna come?" Darwin's voice came through the speaker enthusiastically but gently. It's been days since Erik and Charlie's fight and the lack of communication is killing everyone.</p><p>"I don't know," Erik imagined facing Charlie. Because with that comes facing Jack.</p><p>"Look, Charlie won't be there he has last minute things to get ready for the concert. We all haven't talked in days because you and Charlie refuse to talk. Come on, we got a crazy weekend ahead. Also, Hank is back and he would be really bummed not to see you," Darwin guilt trips Erik.</p><p>"Fine, anything to get out of this house," Erik was glad for an excuse to leave the house. He and his dad don't get along when he's sober much less when you add alcohol into the equation.</p><p>"Awesome I'll see you there," Darwin hung up and Erik put the phone back where it belonged. In the living room, just in view, he could spot the dormant figure of his father. He was waiting, watching the television as if nothing around him mattered. As if Erik didn't matter and maybe that stung a bit but he ignored it. No one's family is perfect.</p><p>"I'm leaving," Erik said aloud to no one in particular. He just wanted to leave before his dad went into one of his speeches which led to worse things.</p><p>~~~~</p><p>The barrens aren't anything special at first sight. Many years ago a young Erik and Charles wandered into the dry patch of land on a particularly bad night at the Lehnsherr household. It bore a striking resemblance to one of those calendars Charles mother had at her office. It was littered with moss covered rocks and flowers of all colors that lead to a dangerous drop off that staggers down to a large lake. It was a sharp drop, sure, and dangerous on many accounts considering the lack of warning. Even despite this fact it was where a group of unlikely friends met up. Just beyond the initial forest greeting of tall trees and spiky shrubs was a small clearing naturally developed through years of perfect summers and midnight meetings. It was where Raven brought Marina on their first date, it was when Darwin finally stopped feeling like Alex's adopted brother and just started feeling like Alex's brother. It was where Charles spent countless nights with a bruised and broken Erik to calm his restless soul. In a town such as this where almost everyone had a problem with everything, it was nice to have a place far beyond the eyes of the people. A place everyone could be themselves.</p><p>Erik hopped off his skateboard and walked the rest of the way to the clearing. His worn sneakers kicking a few rocks on the way. It felt odd walking alone and the chill of the space beside him was increasing. He heard the laughter of his friends first. It was like all silence and chaos was thrown away. He felt more at ease and for a moment forgot about his troubles. He forgot about his fight with Charles and the inevitable future he will have to face. He forgot about his shitty dad and just existed without all of it. That's the kind of effect the barrens had on someone. Erik was forced to duck under a few gripping branches before making it all the way to the clearing. The first face he saw was Alex, who's smile was widening until laughter escaped his lips. He was running after another boy who Erik hadn't seen in some time. Hank McCoy is the smartest out of the group. He'd been whisked away to a special camp for the past two weeks with zero communication home. Something to do with a science scholarship. Erik smiled as the raven haired boy was hiding his chuckles with yelps of fear. A look of panic struck his innocent features as he ran, unsuccessfully, away from the quarterback.</p><p>In the corner leaning against a tree was Raven and Marina. Marina looked far away as she played her ukulele to the rest of the group. The song she was playing was familiar to Erik and created such a nostalgic atmosphere that he felt an immeasurable sense of freedom. Raven was putting flowers into Marina's hair with a rare look of serenity. Sean, the youngest out of them all, was sitting and watching a mystical Angel dance to Marina's song. She had always reminded Erik of one of those lost souls, like a gypsy. Her long braids and devil may care attitude had caused Sean to fall in love. This proved entertaining for everyone as his attempts to impress her get more elaborate by the day. But, for now he was silent which spoke more volumes than any gesture he pulled off.</p><p>"Peaceful, isn't it?" Darwin spoke beside Erik. Erik turned and gave his best friend a hug.</p><p>"Yeah," Erik hummed finally starting to feel relaxed. He set down his skateboard next to Sean's bike and joined the small group of teens.</p><p>"If it isn't my favorite mad scientist! I missed you," Erik shouted as he met Hank with a hug.</p><p>"I missed you too. Camp was amazing but the people were wildly boring. I was the camp weirdo if that's any consolation." Hank shared causing Erik to chuckle. Hank was the most level headed of the crazed lot so for him to be the strange one is definitely saying something.</p><p>"Well, you are a weirdo Hank. I mean look at your friends," Alex pointed to the group with a fond smile behind his snarky words. Erik went and sat with Raven and the others to listen more closely to Marina's music.</p><p>"How you feeling Lehnsherr? Heard about what happened," Angel asked pausing her dancing and sitting beside him. Her braids falling slightly in her faces before she tied them back in a scrunchie.</p><p>"Fine, I mean I got jumped so that was hell but I'm fine. My dad's also home so that's loads of fun," Erik left it at that avoiding eye contact with everybody. He felt they would be able to see past the words and right into the fact that he was depressed. He hadn't talked to his best friend in days and the lack of communication plus his dad coming home is throwing off the already unstable boy. But, even if he refused to show his pain they all saw it. They knew that the only thing that could calm Erik Lehnsherr down was Charles Xavier.</p><p>"Shit, well you can stay with us anytime if it gets too much," Raven offered and Erik nodded.</p><p>"Well, I say we all go swimming. The mood is quickly dampening," Angel suggested already stripping off her clothing.</p><p>"Thank God," Erik followed suit happily.</p><p>"You weren't going to go swimming without me, were you?" Erik froze at the sound of the new voice.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading and please leave comments I love to see them! Have a lovely day/night and stay healthy out there everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Hit of Dopamine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>________________________CHARLIE__________________________</p>
<p>Charlie walked across the rocky edge of the barrens and towards the lush threshold of old trees with a smile. His yellow converse scuffed against a few bushes as he walked. His baby blue backpack held items he figured would be handy for the long day ahead. Things such as sunscreen, a change of clothes and a first aid all clunked around in the forest silence. All Charlie knew is that if they all were making a day out of this he was going to make sure it was a good one. He, Marina, Angel and Raven had been running around like chickens with no heads for the past week. With costumes, makeup and making sure everything is in order Charlie was surely distracted. Adding on the situation with Jack, he realized he had failed to reconcile with his closest friend after their fight. Which was exactly why today was perfect, no one can stay mad at the barrens. It had a way of creating a soft montage-like experience for all of them.</p>
<p>Ever since taking on the job as band manager he had been busy with trying to get the Garage to book Peaches. And the month since the booking has been nothing short of chaos. Raven, being the creative director, had a certain way of completing the vision in a unique and often complicated way. Charlie never complained of course, but he had decided to take on a new pair of hands. He hadn't told Raven it was a permanent addition because she gets defensive. But, Charlie also knew that hiring a makeup artist would be a great help to her no matter how much she says she's fine. But, for now, Charlie was just glad they were all getting a relaxing day because this weekend is going to be an 'all hands on deck' sort of event.</p>
<p>Charlie finally crossed the threshold into the clearing. He first spotted Hank, Alex and Darwin. Darwin was humorously trying to catch Alex before he tackled Hank's much smaller figure. Charlie chuckled lightly and dropped his backpack by a small pile of purses and bags. Everyone else was sitting and talking on a large blanket by a tree. Marina clearly playing one of her favorite songs while the others watch peacefully. It was quite a sight, this sepia toned memory of flowers and ukulele tunes. The soft smiles and bubbly laughter intoxicated them all. It seemed as though it could go on forever. A never ending summer. But, that idea was disillusioned with dreams far beyond whatever Charlie had now. Right now, he had to find a way to talk to his friend.</p>
<p>"What if he doesn't want to talk?" Charlie asked as he noticed Hank standing beside him now having escaped Alex.</p>
<p>"He does, I mean he won't say he does but it's eating him up. I haven't seen him this gloomy awhile," Hank lied. Of course he felt bad about lying but Erik wouldn't of showed if he knew Charlie was coming. Not because he didn't want to see him, but because he didn't want to face the problem.</p>
<p>"Okay, I'm gonna go talk to him," Charlie patted Hank on the shoulder and made his way over. Angel had begun stripping off her oversized shirt and announced something about swimming. Charlie took a deep breath before putting on a confident smile.</p>
<p>"You weren't going to go swimming without me, were you?" Charlie spoke suddenly catching the attention of the group. Charlie had tried to sound laidback but his stomach was in knots. What if Erik asked about Jack? What would I even say? Charlie's thoughts ran wild and he realized he wasn't going at this with any sort of plan. Charlie only begun to feel worse when he saw Erik's figure tense up at the sound of his voice. The reaction was a strange feeling for Charlie, were they really that bad off? It wasn't that big of a fight...right?</p>
<p>"Let's go then!" Angel grabbed Sean who was cherry red and everyone was racing to the cliff side edge of the clearing. It was obvious something was up and Charlie scrunched up his nose. He hated when his friends made little plans because they often ended in disaster. He loved all of them deeply but they are all very uncoordinated.</p>
<p>"Erik, wait," Charlie hadn't realized he was frozen as well until he saw Erik trying to run off. In the distance below he heard splash after splash.</p>
<p>"Erik! We need to talk," Charlie managed to grab Erik's arm leaving the two of them alone. Something about this fact made Charlie more comfortable.</p>
<p>"Just...Erik I miss you," Charlie spoke softly as he released Erik's arm. Charlie heard a soft sigh before Erik finally turned around.</p>
<p>"Look, Charlie I'm sorry for everything I said. We can just forget everything." Erik offered.</p>
<p>"I want to talk about it Erik. We have to talk," Charlie begged. All he wanted was his friend back. There was silence and Charlie was about to give up but Erik took a deep breath.</p>
<p>"Charles, you know I'm lousy with my emotions and say shit I don't mean. I don't and never will mind being your shoulder to cry on and it was shitty of me to say all that stuff. You are my favorite person to hang out with. And I know I overstepped boundaries when I tried to...well you know. I'm sorry," Erik poured out quickly and Charlie looked at him in shock. Charlie thought he would have to fight to get Erik to talk but instead Charlie was the quiet one.</p>
<p>"You don't have to apologize about anything. I'm sure I was bad company and put a damper on everything and I'm sorry. And I said stuff way out of line. It's none of my business what you do with other people. You're enjoying yourself and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about doing that. And about the bathroom? It's fine you got jumped and I'm sure you were a little off. Probably thought I was some hot Sports Illustrated model or something." Charlie waved off the incident but for some reason that made his stomach lurch sadly.</p>
<p>"Yeah, so are we good?" Erik smiled but his eyes hid something Charlie couldn't see. Whatever it was is fleeting and gone in seconds.</p>
<p>"Yes, It's been hell not talking," Charlie jumped and hugged Erik tightly. He was overjoyed to have his friend back and for now the rocks in his stomach felt lighter. Small unpredictable tears prickled on Charlie's irises as he pushed away all the old feelings again. It was better that way. Besides he and Jack were figuring things out and Erik will have a new girl by the end of the weekend. Best to forget it happened at all.</p>
<p>"Really? I think it's been a rather enjoyable break from your madness," Erik teased hugging Charlie just as tight as his own heart cracked in his chest. When the two released from their embrace the mood had completely changed. The air was lighter and the barrens were a little less bare. Both boys felt significantly better to have the other again even if it wasn't in the way they wished.</p>
<p>"So, you have to fill me in on everything with The Asshole," Erik tried to sound casual and Charlie couldn't help but to tense a bit.</p>
<p>"It was interesting but in the end I said that I want to take things slow and he respected that. So, I'm not really sure what we are," Charlie shrugged and kept it vague.</p>
<p>"And that's good?" Erik asked.</p>
<p>"For now? Yes, I want to make sure he's actually changed before I let him back in," Charlie nodded and Erik did as well. There was a silence as Charlie got ready to swim. It wasn't uncomfortable but rather a unique kind of silence you can only hold with a handful of people. It's a cherished silence. The trees were swaying and the birds chirping above them soundly. Charlie realized how beautiful it all was and wished for it to never end.</p>
<p>"My dads back home," Erik wasn't sure why he said it but he just needed to tell someone who understood everything. Charlie froze and looked up with the most wildly blue concerned eyes.</p>
<p>"Are you okay? What happened? Did he hurt you?" Charlie asked a million questions already searching Erik's body. This caused the boy to laugh.</p>
<p>"No, I'm fine. I'm just glad the show is this weekend. I just don't want to be home as much as possible," Erik admitted and Charlie nodded in relief.</p>
<p>"What did your mom say?"</p>
<p>"Nothing. She never does."</p>
<p>"Well, you can stay with me all weekend if you want and whenever you need a break just come over. I'm sorry Erik."</p>
<p>"It's fine. I just want to have a good weekend and hopefully make a few mistakes I'll laugh about later."</p>
<p>"Well, I'll need all the extra hands I can get. So you're guaranteed that." Charlie let out a light chuckle at the thought of what chaos will ensue.</p>
<p>"Hey! Are you alive back there!" Marina burst through the trees her hair soaking wet.</p>
<p>"We're good," Charlie assured.</p>
<p>"We all thought you'd murdered each other. I was the only one brave enough to see. Well, enough waiting around I need by chucks before this weekend," Marina stuck her tongue out and ran back to the cliff. Charlie and Erik laughed and joined their friends.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Short Chapter but necessary! Stay Happy and Healthy out there! Thank you for reading and as always have a lovely day/night!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Cause We've No Time for Getting Old</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_____________ERIK_______________</p><p>Erik woke up with a start. He had a strange feeling in his chest caused by residue from a dream he couldn't recall. He let out a quiet groan as his muscles ached from the sudden movement. After the barrens Erik and the others decided to crash in Marina's basement. It was finished so it seemed like the best option for fitting all nine of them. Sleeping bags and pillows scatter across the white carpet. It was early, that much Erik could tell. He could make out the orange and yellow hues illuminating the sky through the window.</p><p>"Erik, are you up?" Charlie's voice came from the stairs. Erik put a thumbs up and yawned as the others started making their way upstairs.</p><p>"Come on up, quick meeting before this crazy day," Charlie sounded bright and excited despite the pressure. The crew had all been working hard for months to get the word out and get everything together for tonight. Erik hopped up and stretched out his muscles before making his way up the stairs.</p><p>Marina's house was a classic suburban paradise. Nothing too extremely unique about it besides the scattered Peaches merchandise that was everywhere. It had the obligatory family portraits hanging about obviously devoid of beer stains and cigarette smoke. No sadness leaked out of the floorboards like toxic fumes. No drunken slurs creeped from the rooms like ghosts. Because Marina's home was exactly that, a home. To Erik, that's what makes them so different...what makes Marina's home worthy of jealousy. Erik saw his own house as more of just a place he found himself every now and again. It was nowhere near worthy of being called a 'home'. The bad memories far outweighed the good. Here, at the Weaver's home it was okay to be different. Even in the family portrait everyone was mismatched. Marina's hair was slightly shorter then and she had on a floral dress that made her look straight out of a vintage polaroid. Her parents were nothing short of perfect. Her mother was a local artist and her father was a realtor. They made well enough money to support the band and Marina's dreams but Erik just figured that's what parents do. Or at least the good ones. They don't snuff your dreams or tell you to suck it up or call you derogatory names. He figured that was just what he was used to, who his family was. Erik turned solemnly away from the admirable family portrait and walked towards the sound of morning yawns and the smell of freshly brewed coffee.</p><p>Erik found everyone in the kitchen sitting and standing around Charlie. He looked like a vision, even this early in the morning. Still sporting the spare pajamas from last night his hair was slightly askew, almost like a crooked halo. Little brunette whisps flew above his ears as he smiled that killer smile. His blue eyes were vividly concentrating on whatever it was Marina and Angel were going on about. Erik couldn't help but stare, he promised Charlie he had forgotten all about it but that will never happen. Something about Erik didn't feel complete without Charles. And the fact that Jack is back and taking Charlie away with each passing minute makes him feel dead. A horrible kind of dead. Erik shook his head at his thoughts and pushed them far away. Today wasn't about him or his teenage prayers. It was about his friends.</p><p>Everyone had mugs filled to the rim with coffee which is what would serve as the fuel for the day. Well, everyone except for Marina who had some special tea she drinks the day before a show. One night she had explained to Erik the reasoning behind it but he had long forgotten. Erik grabbed himself a mug and filled it with the tart brown liquid. Small streams of steam danced from the rim and gave off a hopeful aroma.</p><p>"Erik, good you're up," Charlie gave Erik a hug and smiled, "okay, so a quick debrief before we all seperate for the day. Tonight is a big night and it's going to take all of us to make it happen. Alex, Darwin, Sean and Hank I need all of you to pack up the instruments in the van and get them to the Garage. Marina, Raven and Angel are going to make sure outfits are picked out and packed as well as any last minute changes are made. I need the entirety of the crew at The Garage by noon. The show starts at eight and if we are going to get the place looking straight out of an eighties montage then it's going to take time. It's only nine so that gives everyone three hours to get their things and get to The Garage. Then we have to have everything set up by five so that a full rehearsal can be done before the official show. Any questions just shoot a text in the group message. Erik and I will be running around getting last minute things as usual so if I don't answer call him." Charlie spoke with clear authority while still keeping that kind demeanor in each word.</p><p>He was able to make each person feel that they are important, needed and talented. Erik had a small smile at the thought of he and Charlie together all day. It was nothing out of the ordinary, Erik served as Charlie's number two during any event but after their hiccup it was nice to have that familiarity. Erik was willing to bet everyone in the room, save Raven, was at least a little in love with Charlie. He gave off this air of confidence that was intoxicating to all those that surrounded him. Whether it was romantic love or just admiration, Erik knew everyone held a little for the teenage prince. He also knew no one was in love with Charlie like he was and that unspoken truth killed him.</p><p>"I don't know how you do it," Marina shook her head and gave Charlie a thankful hug. It was true, without him it would all fall apart in an instant.</p><p>"To be honest me neither," He chuckled into her frizzy morning curls.</p><p>"Okay, everyone grab a donut and get dressed we have a long day ahead. And remember: you are all amazing and I love you all very much. Now, group hug," Charlie held out his strong arms that somehow held everyone together. His arms that were powerful enough to turn all of them, despite their differences, into family. Charlie was stronger than the lot combined, of this Erik was certain. And as they all squeezed into that hug in Marina's kitchen on that chaotic Saturday morning, Erik was happiest. He was happiest because this was his family, the people he would die for and he was pretty sure would die for him too.</p><p>"And, break!" Charlie shouted, it ending it a fit of laughter followed by everyone else. But soon enough everyone did just that. Marina, Angel and Raven lazily headed upstairs to go through the wardrobe and Hank, Alex, Sean and Darwin headed to the outside garage to gather the instruments. Then, it left Erik and Charlie together.</p><p>"Out of everyone we have the most to get done by noon," Charlie showed a momentary sign of panic in his eyes and Erik held his shoulders.</p><p>"If anyone can get it all done it's us. We are the dream team, we always get it done. Now, go get dressed and meet me outside. Then you can fill me in on our quest," Erik held Charlie close in an encouraging way and Charlie gripped on. For a moment Erik swore he felt his hand trembling slightly but it was gone just as quickly.</p><p>"Okay." Charlie broke away and raced down the steps.</p><p>___________________CHARLIE_________________________</p><p>Charlie threw on his Peaches t-shirt. It was cream colored with the bands name and simple art on the front. He liked the way it fit him and he was glad everyone decided to make them the crew shirts for every show. Charlie was rushing about his hands slightly trembling at the thought of how much there is to do. Of course he would never let anyone see that nervousness because that would be wildly contagious. Bzzz. Bzzz. Charlie's phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Jack's name. He wasn't quite used to having him be back, much less a name on his home screen.</p><p>Hey, something came up and I can't make it to the show tonight. I know how much this means to you and I'll make it up to you I promise. Tell the band I said good luck! I'm so sorry Charlie</p><p>Charlie bit his lip and let out something between a chuckle and a small noise of heartbreak. Something in him told himself not to get his hopes up. People don't change, not completely. Jack always hated the shows so of course something would magically come up. Charlie's fingers trembled more violently as he typed his reply.</p><p>No problem. Don't worry about it and I'll pass on the good luck!</p><p>Charlie saw the dreaded 'read' show up with no reply. This made it worse, made it eerie and made it a lie. He stared at the screen for what seemed like hours before he heard his name echo from upstairs. Right. No time for this, you've got a band to manage. Jack isn't coming and that's okay.</p><p>"Coming!" Charlie shouted and grabbing his yellow converse he raced up the stairs.</p><p>By time Charlie had answered last minute questions, gotten his phone and put on his clothes Erik was hypnotized at how well he multitasked under all the pressure. It was graceful how he was running up and down the stairs outside and then back in. It all came so naturally, that leadership was in his blood.</p><p>"Okay, I think I can part from all this chaos now," Charlie let out a soft chuckle as he got in his car. It was a vintage thing. Large enough to fit his friends inside on long car rides and expeditions if needed. And at the end of the day, that's all he really cared about. With his parents barely around they had become closer to the definition of strangers than guardians so Charlie often put all his attention on his friends. Friends are the family you get to choose, isn't that what they say? His parents had offered a modern, more stylish vehicle but Charlie declined. He didn't need some luxurious car, he needed something that he earned himself. So a summer of working two jobs later he was able to afford the beat down yellow vehicle and with help from Alex and Darwin it was fixed by the end of the summer. Charlie had a hula girl and vintage dice Raven insisted made the thing look straight from an old film.</p><p>Charlie waved goodbye to everyone as he turned the corner and headed towards the endless day ahead.</p><p>"So, what's on today's agenda then?" Erik took a bite from his donut and faced Charlie.</p><p>"First, we have to go to the storage unit and grab things Raven decided would be fun to add last minute," Charlie rolled his eyes and shook his head.</p><p>"Hey, are you good?" Erik asked with a frown. Charlie bit his lip for a moment and remembered the text from Jack. The blatant lie. Charlie doesn't ask much and all he wanted was for Jack to show up even for one song. Charlie wanted to rant to Erik but he felt almost embarrassed. Erik had warned him about it all so instead he shrugged and swallowed the texts like a bitter pill.</p><p>"Yeah, you know how I get before a show. I'm glad it's us though, that helps," Charlie smiled to Erik hoping to ease his mind but by Erik's expression he knew Charlie was lying. Charlie just hoped he would leave it alone.</p><p>"Good, now let's get to the storage unit," Erik knew to leave it alone and Charlie was thankful. Charlie watched as Erik got out the CD case and flipped through it. He was such a naturally optimistic person despite his life. Erik's never had it easy and Charlie was amazed that he was able to hold himself together and keep him from losing his own mind. Because at the end of the day it wasn't Raven or Jack who understood Charlie...it was Erik. Erik in all his mess and intimidating smiles was able to keep Charlie from completely unraveling on most days. Charlie wondered if he knew how important he was. How much he meant to him. I hope you know how loved you are. Charlie thought and then turned back to the road.</p><p>I, I will be king</p><p>And you, you will be Queen</p><p>Though nothing will drive them away</p><p>We can beat them, just for one day</p><p>Charlie's stressed features grew into a smile as he looked over to Erik who was singing along. And all the sudden everything was okay.</p><p>"We can be heroes, just for one day,"Charlie sang and Erik belted out the lyrics in a way that Charlie thought was so ridiculously adorable.</p><p>Years ago, on one of those lonely dark nights Erik and Charlie went for a long drive. It was a couple weeks after Jack and Charlie broke up and Erik drove for hours. So far out of town that Charlie was sure they were lost forever. And this song came on the radio, some forgotten station they tuned into when they escaped the town limits. But, in that moment all panic and all sadness left Charlie and when he told Erik this he had smiled so big. And every dark lonely night after that, they played this song so loud. Chasing away all demons who threatened their youth.</p><p>Without even a word, Erik knew how to calm down Charlie. That was the most beautiful thing Charlie had ever experienced. When someone understands you so intimately in a world of people so absorbed in themselves. Charlie knew that if he ever got the opportunity to leave Brooksfield, he would take Erik with him. Because Charlie didn't want any freedom if it wasn't with Erik. And at that thought Charlies mind came back to the present. He wanted to enjoy today, each small moment it held and offered. Each memory amounted to so much. Today Charlie would stay out of his clouded thoughts and be more in the present. Forgetting about dumb boys and broken promises and unspoken things that float in the air.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two Updates in one day because we are all locked in the house and. AS always thank you for reading and I have a lovely day/night!!</p><p>Sending smooth tunes and good vibes your way</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Short Days, Long Nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_____________CHARLIE____________</p><p>Charlie pulled into the rundown parking lot of the storage unit. His yellow car rumbles over the uneven gravel before he can finally park. There wasn't an official parking lot for the storage unit but rather a small area of loose gravel that fit the rare few that actually came for their things. Charlie imagined all the things that get thrown out. What rare treasures lie under it all? What interesting people keep their things in these tin rooms? Charlie doesn't make the trip to the storage unit often but everytime he does it's a ghost town. The owner is almost never on site leaving everything quiet and lonely. There's an uneasy vibe that comes with the mystery of what lies behind the padlock of these rusted doors. The long rows exposed in the relentless sun, the rusty garage-like doors shine in the lot. Charlie took the unit key and walked alongside Erik to their unit. It's where they keep the majority of the band memorabilia and supplies. Extra drumsticks, old shirts and decorations for shows.</p><p>    "Okay," Charlie unlocked the unit and slid it up with a huff. Just passed the doors are a unique collection of plastic bins and discarded materials. Things bought at garage sales and flea markets over the years. A mismatched sea of madness.</p><p>    "We need the soft glow lights and everything that gives off a remotely soft vibe. Marina and Angel want this show to feel right out of a nineties movie scene and we have to make that happen," Charlie wiped off his hands and began looking through the labeled bins. He landed on a yellow one with scratchy black writing that read "Soft bulbs" and Charlie snapped in relief before picking it up. Well, that is before Erik stopped him.</p><p>    "Charlie, something's wrong," Erik spoke softly from behind him. Charlie turned and quirked his eyebrow.</p><p>    "What? Did Sean break something?" Charlie chuckled away the increasing worry. He couldn't show that weakness, that fear. He had to be the strong one for everyone. Charlie moved boxes as he talked taking the small bins and moving them towards the entrance before Erik stopped him. His scared palms took the boxes from him. Charlie could feel the scars from all his skateboard tricks that landed him on the concrete. That memory of comfort and bandaids and times easier than now.</p><p>    "What happened?" Erik asked once again. Charlie bit his lip and closed his eyes.</p><p>    "I invited Jack to the concert and he can't go because apparently something came up. Which we all know is a total lie. I really wanted him to come, Erik. I know it's stupid but I didn't want to be alone tonight. I wanted to dance with somebody. Shit, and now I'm quoting Whitney," Charlie put his hands on his hips and looked up. A sad and exhausted chuckle escaped his pink lips and surrounded him like a blanket. Charlie was tired of this shroud of loneliness that engulfed him in darkness constantly. He wanted that one great love story and he wanted it to be real. He wanted his movie moment, that kiss that makes every other kiss pale in comparison. A moment with the person you belong with, no bullshit or lies. But as the days passed Charlie was finding it harder and harder to believe in that.</p><p>    "You know what? Screw Jack, you've worked your ass off to make this concert happen and I won't let you throw it all away for some selfish asshole. So, forget about him and you wanna dance with somebody? You want your Whitney Houston moment? I'll dance with you all night if that's what you want. Look, you have worked so hard to get us all to this point and you deserve every ounce of happiness tonight. You don't need anyone there that doesn't want to one hundred percent support you and Peaches." Erik puts it all rather plainly. He held Charles in a tight hug and let the moment take place. Charlie snuggled his head into Erik's warm shoulder wanting to forget all about Jack again. Why did he have to come back and ruin everything? Scatter Charlie's feelings like paint and then leave him high and dry? Charlie wanted so badly for Jack to have changed but he supposed that Erik was right. Some people don't change.</p><p>    "You're right. Screw Jack, that ass! I've worked my butt off for this and I only want people there that want to be there," Charlie got this admirable look of determination and strength that was familiar to Erik. It was like a burst of strength surged through him and left him breathless.</p><p>    "Yeah!" Erik high fived Charlie and they both chuckled.</p><p>    "Now, let's get these bins in the car. We still have to go to Leo and Ben's to pick up the merchandise for tonight." Charlie picked up a bin and so did Erik and together they managed to fit all ten bins, all in varying sizes, in the car.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Leo and Ben were Charlie's other close friends. They also happened to be the only other openly gay guys in the entire town. Ben and Charlie became close after starting baseball together and Leo came into the picture naturally. Ben's darker complexion only accentuated his bright green eyes and dazzling smile. He had the sort of face that lit up in genuine excitement every time someone he loved came around. He had this warmth that surrounded him constantly. Leo, on the other hand, was a complete artist. Loud, misunderstood and colorful while also being deeply blunt and critical. He barely understood baseball yet never failed to be in the front row of every single game with the biggest smile on his face. He had brown curls and dark emerald green eyes. His pale skin was naturally rosy in an angel kissed kind of way. Ben and Leo were the sort of couple that made the most sense because they made absolutely no sense. Last year when Leo and Ben turned eighteen they finally moved out of their toxic homes and found a  rather adorable and cozy apartment by the city. And while this constitutes a bit more of a drive for Charlie he didn't hesitate to make it at least once a week.</p><p>    The apartment was big enough for the couple and was decorated with Leo's artwork. Small paintings and framed vinyl records hung about the white walls creating a very artistic and laid back atmosphere. Erik and Charlie walked up the steps to the third floor in somewhat of a hurry. It was ten thirty and they still had to check on the merch and make it to the Garage by twelve. With three light knocks on the wooden door it bursts open with a smiling Leo. His overalls are covered in paint and he held a paintbrush in his left hand lazily.</p><p>    "Charlie," Leo embraced him with a loving hug and smile. Charlie chuckled in surprise dodging the pink paint.</p><p>    "Sharktooth," Leo referred to Erik with the loving nickname before embracing him as well.</p><p>    "Benny is getting the shirts all packed up now. We made t-shirts, hoodies, hats and I made a few prints of the pictures I took from the last show. Stills of Angel and Marina going at it on stage. I also took the liberty of calling my cousin Cece, you know the one that works at that record shop across town, and she managed to get fifty CD's and cassettes made of Peach Pop," Leo listed his accomplishments fondly as he guided the two boys to the spare room that served as the art studio. Peach Pop was the Peaches first EP released over winter break. Charlie's heart thumped quickly in excitement, he didn't think Leo would be able to get the CD's and cassettes.</p><p>    "Oh my God Leo, thank you!" Charlie cheered and he waved him off.</p><p>    "Benny, Charlie and Sharktooth are here," Leo announced and Ben looked up from taping a box shut. He wore a simple white t shirt and basketball shorts, no doubt still in his pajamas.</p><p>    "Hey, losers. I just got everything packed up but here's the design," Ben pointed to Leo's messy work station. A print of the design was sitting on top and Charlie observed it. It was perfect, the simple design and nostalgic mood it had was everything Marina and Angel wanted.</p><p>"Leo, this is amazing," Charlie complimented and Leo shrugged.</p><p>"Leo and I will be there at six to set up the table in the front. Leo will be taking pictures for the socials but I'll run the merch table," Ben smiled warmly and Charlie observed all the boxes.</p><p>    "Awesome, you two are lifesavers. I just wanted to stop by and make sure everything was on track and all," Charlie felt a wave of relief in knowing that everything was still going as planned. Today was going perfect and tonight all his friends' hard work would be rewarded. And in that dazzling moment all would be well.</p><p>    "Of course anything you need Charlie. You're always doing things for everyone else," Ben nodded and Charlie did too.</p><p>____________________ERIK____________________</p><p>    Erik held his hand out the window as they pulled into the back of the building. The Garage was a place not unfamiliar to Erik. A few times he and others had attended small shows of local bands here before. On those free Friday nights where bravery swims in the air like a drug and Erik had almost confessed his feelings to Charlie to a wide array of love songs. Luckily, they all ended before that bravery could peak. And then Jack came along and suddenly those love songs weren't bravery songs but rather Erik's queue to disappear from three minutes. Not tonight though, tonight Erik would dance with Charlie and laugh and hum along to Marina's voice as it touched every soul in the room.</p><p>    Once Erik and Charlie made the first trip inside, Alex and Darwin went back out to get the rest while Charlie did a check in with the Garage's manager. The room was decently sized and empty spare a few chairs and tables by the bar area. It had been stripped of all normal decor so that the band could make it their own for the night. Something Charlie probably had to pull a few strings to make happen. In the far corner, Charlie was sharing a conversation with the balding owner, Mr. Mathews, and by the laughter and handshake it seemed to go well. Mr.Mathews nodded his head to Charlie before heading backstage and Charlie beelined for Erik.</p><p>    "Erik, I need you to do me a favor," Charlie held Erik's shoulders with a major look of panic behind his ocean eyes.</p><p>    "Anything, what's up?" Erik asked concern growing in his throat.</p><p>    "Emma, the new makeup artist I hired, her car broke down and she needs a ride here. There's no way I can leave because I have to help set up and Raven and the girls will be here any minute an--"</p><p>    "Hey, Charlie! Charlie, calm down I'll go get her." Erik stopped Charlie's rambling and took the keys from his hand.</p><p>    "Are you sure?" Charlie asked and Erik nodded with a smile.</p><p>    "Send me the address. I'll be back in no time," Erik assured and Charlie threw himself at Erik with a hug. Erik heard a muffled 'thank you' before Charlie planted a thankful and soft kiss on Erik's cheek. It was something so small and quick that if you blinked you would have missed it. Erik's face lit up a fiery shade of red and his heart raced out of his chest. Then, just as quickly Charlie was gone and  shouting at Sean about lights. Erik stood stunned for a moment, the ghost of a kiss on his cheek before he left and headed for Emma Frost's house.</p><p>    Erik left the Garage and put in the address Charlie sent him. It wasn't a far drive and Erik chalked that up to luck and the simple fact that they all lived in such a small area. Spare a few locations it took ten minutes to get anywhere in Brooksville. A silent rule that kept them all in this bubble of time and restraint. There was never an excuse to be late anywhere because there was never any traffic. It would be the perfect town if it wasn't for all the conservative assholes that suppressed anything remotely different. It was a miracle they even had a concert venue here.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>    Emma Frost's home was a quaint thing. With light colored brick and a small garden of pink and purple flowers it was something out of an advertisement. Erik pulled in and smiled at the sunflower tin that hung on the door, swaying slightly in the breeze. Erik left the car running and jogged up to the screen door with a smile. While meeting new people could be something to throw Erik into a panic attack, he was too focused on doing this thing for Charlie to care. So, he fixed his hair best he could and straightened his Peaches t-shirt before knocking lightly. There was silence for a moment before the door opened to reveal a woman. Her blonde hair was pulled back and she had a soft smile on her face. Faint worry lines came out by her eyes but she was very beautiful.</p><p>    "I'm here to pick up Emma. I'm Erik Lensherr," Erik tried to smile nicely knowing he has a tendency to have what people so lovingly call a shark smile.</p><p>    "Oh! Yes, Emma!" she disappeared for a moment before a girl emerged onto the porch with a backpack and two makeup boxes in each hand. Her face was turned away from Erik as she said goodbye to her mom. From the back she had the coolest shade of ice blonde hair Erik had ever seen. It fell just at her shoulders and was slightly curled. It seemed to move in the breeze in slow motion. Erik would use the word enchanting to describe it.</p><p>    "Bye!" Emma called and shut the front door.</p><p>    Erik's jaw dropped slightly when she turned around. She was beautiful, certainly more beautiful than anything Erik was expecting. She had big brown eyes that were the color of freshly brewed coffee. Her rosy cheeks were slightly flushed from what Erik can assume was rushing to get ready. Her lips were a light pink that seemed to have a permanent grin. She had this radiance of confidence and had this look of kindness in her eyes that Erik hadn't seen on anyone but Charlie. But, behind that was something almost icy, she was kind but she had attitude.</p><p>    "I'm Emma," Emma spoke, breaking Erik out of his trance.</p><p>    "Erik, here let me take those," Erik fumbled on his words for a moment before taking the makeup boxes from Emma's hands.</p><p>    "A true gentleman," Emma giggled and it bubbled from her bright chest and into Erik's ears. Erik smiled too because he finally found a way to forget about his dumb crush on Charlie.</p><p>The duo got in the car and began the drive back to the Garage but Erik could tell Emma was nervous. Charlie had mentioned he had yet to give her a proper intro to everyone and Erik understood that sense of unease more than anyone.</p><p>"Hey, you'll be fine. Everyone's really nice. I mean, we are all really excited to have you," Erik tried and Emma smiled timidly.</p><p>"Me and my mom just moved here and she's been pushing me to make friends. I know it's lame but I'm really hoping to get along with everyone because I don't want to spend my summer alone. I don't know, Charlie is really nice and all but I'm majorly awkward," Emma confessed.</p><p>"I get it and more than anyone they will too. We all became friends because we don't really belong anywhere. You'll fit right in because you're awkward. And if Raven gives you a hard time it's only because she's deeply in love with her girlfriend and only wants the absolute best for her. She has this fear of letting her down, I think, so if she's a little cold to you it's nothing personal. And Darwin, Sean and Alex are the equivalent of the three stooges so they will probably just make you laugh. Hank is the world's best secret keeper, he will listen to you complain for hours and always has the perfect response. Angel and Marina are really laid back and excited to meet you too. But, if you ever feel out of place or awkward or alone the best person to go to in the whole world is Charlie. He has a way of understanding and helping you in ways you didn't even know you wanted to be understood or helped. He's like a guardian angel, I swear," Erik rambled about his friends with a fond smile. He loved all of them greatly and knew they would welcome Emma with open arms.</p><p>"Wow," Emma looked at Erik in shock.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You love them a lot don't you?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"That's cool. I mean, that you can express that and not freak out or something. Most guys in my old town would think their man card was at stake if they said they loved their friends." Emma laughed at her joke and Erik smirked. He really liked Emma, she was nice and had hope in her future with them. She wanted to chase away that loneliness and Erik understood that more than anyone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh dear, Emma and Erik seem to be hitting it off... ANYGAYS I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Make sure to keep your head up during these trying times and stay safe and healthy.  I hope you have a lovely day/night and I'm sending good vibes your way~~~&gt;&gt;&gt;</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I'll Color Me Blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things Spiral...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_________CHARLIE____________</p>
<p>Charlie felt as if he was on top of the world. He still was on that initial adrenaline high from the intensity of setting up and making sure they stayed on schedule. But, now that they had transformed the normally gloomy venue into a pure dream, a smile was tattooed on his features. Yellows, pinks and blue all shined down from soft bulbs that wrapped and stretched on every corner. Of course there was the initial disaster of a few strands ceasing to work but Raven had managed to redesign the set up to accommodate. Silver and Gold metallic streamers hung behind the stage making all the colors reflect. Sheer material with small printed stars was on whatever tables were set up towards the back adding to that nostalgic romantic nature. The boys had managed to bring in all the instruments without dropping them which Charlie figured was a record. But, most of all Charlie had been able to pull off everything Angel and Marina wanted. The nostalgic movie with the dream like lights and atmosphere. He was still unsure how he achieved it all but he wasn't one to question the system.</p>
<p>Charlie and Erik stood side by side off stage. The doors opened about fifteen minutes ago and it was filling up fast. People of all different ages and natures rallied together in this space eager to escape.</p>
<p>"Ready?" Erik nudged Charlie who nodded with a smile. Charlie was to announce Peaches as he always did. It also allows Marina and Angel a few minutes to shake out their remaining nerves off stage.</p>
<p>"I'll meet you down there," Erik put a thumbs up and mumbled for the lights to be turned on before walking out to the crowd. The stage seemed huge as Charlie walked out. There was a cheer and all attention turned to him instantly. He ran a hand through his curls and stood in front of the microphone.</p>
<p>"Hello and welcome to the Garage! My name is Charlie and the two girls coming to the stage are my very dearest friends. Both wonderfully talented and beautiful souls that I've cherished watching. So, please welcome Peaches!" Charlie clapped happily and on queue Angel and Marina walked out with a smile.</p>
<p>Despite the crowd being no more than one hundred, you would think they were playing to a crowd of two hundred thousand by their smiles. Marina gave Charlie a hug and kiss on the cheek.</p>
<p>"You're a saint," she whispered lovingly into his ear before splitting away and taking over.</p>
<p>Charlie's converse covered toes rushed down to join the crowd beside Erik. Erik had the biggest smile on his face as he tugged Charlie next to him.</p>
<p>"Hey, how's everyone doing tonight?" Marina called out and there was a chorus of cheers. Charlie whooped and clapped along with Erik and the rest of the crowd.</p>
<p>"That's what I love to hear. If you're new here my name is Marina and that lovely lady on the drums is our very own Angel and together we are Peaches. Now, before we get tonight started I just wanted to thank my wonderful friends who without them this all would not have been possible. I send out an air kiss to all of you." Marina found every pair of eyes belonging to her friends in the crowd.</p>
<p>Charlie thought both girls undeniably belonged in the spotlight. Marina looked nothing short of perfect. Her curls were actually tamed and styled which if you knew her was a rarity. Light shadow and added small star gems stuck to her cheeks to reflect the lights. A vintage pair of jeans were painted with pink splatters to match her pink crop top. Angel on the other hand looked straight out of a Rolling Stones magazine. Her dreads were down and tucked behind her ears for the moment. She had on a simple black bralette but was decorated with gold chains and necklaces to make up for it. Charlie was sure somewhere in the crowd Sean was drooling over her. Hell, everyone here is probably a little in love with both girls. Or maybe it was just the atmosphere that made you fall in love with anyone.</p>
<p>As Marina and Angel began playing the crowd quickly jumped into the music. Erik and Charlie found themselves hopping and singing the lyrics. Charlies eyes fluttered shut and a smile stretched on his face. Erik knew staring was rude and all but he couldn't help it. For an instant he stopped dancing and just watched him. Erik thought he was properly beautiful in every way. The shine of his hair was capturing the lights giving him this makeshift halo that fit him perfectly. From the hustle and bustle of the day the sweat on Charlie's cheeks sparkled off the pink and blue hues. He looked so carefree. Erik wished he could keep Charlie like this, devoid of worry and trouble. Devoid of that loneliness that Erik has been chasing off ever since they met. That eagerness to be loved or have some grand love story. Charlie deserved it all because all he did was do things for other people. Erik wished he could be that person. The knight in shining armor to whisk him away from this sleepy town. But he was afraid, he was a coward in his own skin. He couldn't stand that about himself. He had been so broken and battered by his father that he had failed to gain whatever confidence his father hoped to give him through those actions. But, tonight wasn't about all of that. It was about his friends and the music and this one definite moment in their history.</p>
<p>From the outside they would have looked like two normal boys. One slightly softer than the other but nonetheless joined at the hip. No one would really give them a second glance. Because from the outside you can't see the neglect or the stress or the loneliness. You can only see the smiles and the bright reflection of hazy dreams. But, with so much unsaid between the two it was a miracle they hadn't burst. And they probably would have if it wasn't for the lavender effect they had on each other. When Charlie was with Erik he forgot all about being the glue of the family. He forgot about his lost dreams and hopes of love. And when Erik was with Charlie he forgot about his father and the bullying. But, he also remembered the aching in his heart constantly like a weight. A bittersweet company of brokenness. And at that moment everything was perfect. But, perfect moments last only in photographs and Charlie and Erik would soon learn that more than anyone else.</p>
<p>~~~~</p>
<p>About thirty minutes into the set Erik went to get him and Charlie water while Charlie saved their front spot. One of Peaches' more mellow songs was playing and everyone was feeling a rare form of euphoria that no drug could achieve. It was that rare taste of freedom that came along with each cord and melody. A strange power music holds. As the song came to an end Marina spoke.</p>
<p>"This next one is a special request," she had this enticing raspiness that her voice achieves after singing for awhile. It only adds to her charm. Charlie frowned not knowing when someone could have made such a request but chalked it up to him not paying attention. Charlie listened as a familiar melody began. The effect was instant. He knew this song better than anyone. He knew the memories that came with this song as well. Warm summer nights, long walks, tired nights on the phone, stolen kisses in alleyways and a dangerous boy that changed everything. It all came flooding back and Charlie searched the crowd.</p>
<p>
  <em>Love it's hard, I know</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>All your lights are red, but I'm green to go</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Used to see you high, now you're only low</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>All your lights are red but I'm green to go</em>
</p>
<p>Marina's rendition of the song was beautiful as it swam into Charlie's ears. He stood there completely stunned. The song was a memory he almost didn't even realize he had forgotten.</p>
<p>
  <em>I want you</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'll colour me blue</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Anything it takes to make you stay</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Only seeing myself</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When I'm looking up at you</em>
</p>
<p>"Charlie," his voice came out breathless and soft. Charlie turned and met the familiar and unexpected eyes of Jack. He held a peach colored rose and was sopping wet. His bright eyes studied Charlie in amazement. Charlie's heart thumped quickly as he took in the state of Jack. He even was wearing an old Peaches t-shirt under his jean jacket. Charlie couldn't believe he kept that shirt.</p>
<p>"Jack? What are you doing here?" Charlie asked with a small chuckle.</p>
<p>"I want to be better and I want to show you that I am. This is important to you, this is your world. I'm here to support you in whatever you do. I realized that I want to be here, I want to be a part of your universe. I got here as fast as I could. I didn't realize how much you did. You're amazing," Jack had a soft smile as he wiped the drops of water from his hair.</p>
<p>
  <em>I can't say no</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Though the lights are on</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There's nobody home</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Swore I'd never lose control</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then I fell in love with a heart that beats so slow</em>
</p>
<p>"I...I'm really glad you're here," Charlie's heart swelled. Jack came to support him, he wanted to be a part of it all. Charlie's brain had a temporary war with his heart. As he looked at Jack his heart screamed to jump in this boy's arms and kiss him. But his brain kept repeating the same sorrowful fact. This is going to hurt like hell when it's over. Maybe that didn't have to be anytime soon, though. Maybe they could be better people together. In the end it was Charlie's heart that was louder. Charlie grabbed Jack by the collar and brought him down into a kiss. It was sudden and messy but also full and ended in a fit of chuckles.</p>
<p>"I know you're seeing black and white. So I'll paint you a clear blue sky, without you I am color-blind," Jack whispered in Charlie's ear following the lyrics in the song. Charlie felt a tug in his chest as he embraced Jack.</p>
<p>"You remembered. The song I mean," Charlie held both of Jack's hands as they swayed in what seemed like an empty room.</p>
<p>"Of course, it's our song. You were the only one to ever understand Charlie," Jack looked at Charlie as if he was everything and to him, at that moment, maybe he was. Charlie blushed slightly and heard the ending melody of the song one final time before everyone erupted into applause. All attention was on stage except for one pair of eyes.</p>
<p>______ERIK_________</p>
<p>Erik's entire body froze. His muscles went rigid and his eyes widened as he saw Charlie kiss Jack. He'd seen them kiss many times, it wasn't new but by God the feeling that came with it was. It felt like rocks in his throat and nails in his heart. He felt warm tears threaten as the salty remains tickled his nose. How had things gotten so out of hand so quickly? Where did Jack even come from? Erik's sadness and shock quickly turned to anger as his hands began to tremble slightly. It was him who was dancing with Charlie all night. It was him who was keeping Charlie's mind off his shitty relationship. And what? Jack shows up and he gets the kiss? Erik wanted to scream. Erik wanted to forget about emotions completely in that moment. Erik came to a conclusion motivated by heartbreak and fear. Charlie was never going to go for a guy like him. He realized that he should just give up on the stupid crush and move on. Find a distraction, isn't that what Charlie expected anyway? For Erik to find his 'flavor of the week'?</p>
<p>"Sad song," a girl's voice came from beside Erik. It sounded so far away but it was welcomed.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Erik looked over and met the eyes of Emma. She looked a little different, having changed and done something with her hair. She had exchanged her hoodie for the unofficial Peaches crew t-shirt. And although it was going to hurt like a mother, Erik decided Emma would be his distraction. Emma would be his way out of this stupid crush on Charlie.</p>
<p>"You okay?" She asked and Erik shook away from his thoughts about a certain boy and turned completely to Emma.</p>
<p>"Yeah, wanna dance?" Erik offered with his sharktooth smile. Emma shrugged and took his hand just as the beat picked up and a new song started.</p>
<p>
  <em>If you wanna take me</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Go ahead and try my head</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Experience is nothing compared to</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The sleep paralysis in my bed</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>If you wanna love me</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Try to get inside my brain</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Experience is nothing compared to</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The nights I'm always up so late</em>
</p>
<p>Erik sang along with the crowd as he danced with Emma. Emma and her bright smile and uncoordinated dancing was nothing short of what Erik considered adorable. She had this beauty about her and Erik knew he would be okay with her. She understood loneliness and she understood him.</p>
<p>Something shifted in the air. As Erik and Emma got closer and Jack and Charlie rekindled whatever they had something changed in an instant. Erik's eyes met Charlie's in the crowd and an unspoken conversation was had. It was clear to both boys now that whatever they were dancing around, if anything, was over. Whatever affection sparked when they were near one another was dead. Because just as Charlie expected, Erik had a girl now. Not that he was upset, Erik was often a lot happier when in a relationship. But, that didn't stop his heart from dropping the slightest bit as he saw Erik wrap an arm around Emma.</p>
<p>Charlie and Erik forged two different paths that night. Whether they were good or bad was unclear to them at the moment. But, Erik needed to forget and Charlie wanted a love story. Maybe it was the need to be with someone, to feel love, to share a kiss. Maybe they were two blind boys who couldn't see the great love story they held in each other. But, it didn't matter to them then. A line had been put in the sand and no matter how wrong it felt...it was done.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Evil author laughter* I'm sorry but things must be done. The songs in this chapter are Blue by Troye Sivan and If You Want To by Beabadoobee. Two amazing songs so you should go check them out if you feel like it. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter despite the events that took place. </p>
<p>Have a lovely day/night!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Like Bitter Tangerine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>___________CHARLIE______________</p><p>Time passes differently in the summer. Whether it feels slower or faster, nothing about time in the summer applies to any other part of the year. Maybe it's that sense of nostalgia you get listening to music in the car with that one group of friends. Or the exhilarating feeling that takes over when you realize that there's no school tomorrow. Whatever it may be it intoxicates the youth like an airborne drug. Everything about the summer was mesmerizing. The weather, the food, the company and the feeling of infinite youth. Summer can be defined by the smiles and the laughter, or for lovers, the kisses and the romance.</p><p>Summer was Charlie's favorite season and he spent it almost the same way every year. He would spend most days with Erik at the skatepark watching him while sketching or writing. It most often ended with Erik receiving a bad scrape and Charlie fussing about it until Erik let him patch it up. Those were the sweetest summers, they tasted like melted ice cream and secrets. They looked like band-aids and shark tooth smiles. They remained in Charlie's forefront memories like freshly taken polaroids. Other days were spent with the group as a whole. Whether it was at the barrens or Charlie's house, those days were unpredictable. Popcorn, scary movies and games. A soft vintage beat of music from the record player in the living room. Ending with a stargazing session in whatever field they could break into without getting into trouble. Summers were Charlie's favorite because for those solid three months it seemed the world faded into hazy tones that left everyone with a smile. People were nicer and the long days were chased by exciting nights.</p><p>Charlie's hand drifted outside the window. Swimming up and down the endless rush of wind that fought against his palm. The sun was bright and burning above them like a guardian. Charlie's ocean irises were hidden behind sunglasses as he let the wind tickle his neck and push his curls in all different directions. Bright colors washed past his vision like a smeared painting and Charlie took a deep breath. What part of paradise had he floated into on this Wednesday afternoon? Tearing his eyes away from the window Charlie spared a glance to Jack. He seemed to be almost glowing in the bright summer shine that reflected off his sunglasses. He wore this smile of a fascinating nature. Jack had a rare smile. It came around every so once in awhile and swept the witness off their feet. It was a crooked smile, gapped teeth all around but Charlie thought it was perfect. His front gap was undoubtedly adorable and one of the reasons Charlie fell so hard. Jack's hair was swimming up and down with the gusts of wind as his calloused hand tapped the steering wheel with the music. Everything about this moment was perfect. Charlie chuckled softly and stole a quick kiss to Jack's cheek. Jack looked over with pink cheeks and a flustered smile.</p><p>"What was that for?" Jack chuckled lightly and Charlie shrugged.</p><p>"Do I need a reason?" Charlie continued singing the song on the radio.</p><p>Charlie and Jack were heading towards town to run a few errands for the day. Charlie's house had begun to run dangerously low on food and Raven was becoming insufferable because of it. And it didn't seem that his parents were going to make an appearance anytime soon if the money they sent was any consolation. So, Charlie took the two hundred dollars and asked Jack if he felt like going to the market district today. It was a small area of town that was a cross between a few outdoor stores and a farmers market. Nearly forgotten on the weekdays, the two blocks of shops were fully stocked for Charlie to get whatever he and his sister would need for an undetermined amount of time. Luckily, Jack was eager to spend the day out with Charlie and Charlie was just happy to have the company. While he would have preferred his sister, Raven planned on spending the day with Marina but Charlie knew it was an excuse to not go. Raven loved shopping but her vision strictly stuck to retail in that sense. Charlie didn't blame her, it wasn't the most exciting thing in the world for anyone.</p><p>Jack parked and shut off the car as Charlie got out. A few couples walked around on the same mission Charlie was on. He waved to them kindly as they passed by. Jack walked to Charlie's side and due to the height difference looked like somewhat of a giant beside Charlie. Jack put his long arm around Charlie's shoulder and together they began walking down the sidewalk. Even this was a dangerous game for them. In Brooksville people were cruel and violent and took out whatever sunshine they could with cold blistering punches. Charlie was used to it of course, he had to be after what happened. Charlie's been in more fights in the past year than he can count but he hated every single one of them. On the contrary, no one really messed with Jack. Maybe it was his demeanor or his attitude but the bullies tended to leave him alone. It also helps that Jack is one of the least stereotypical gay guys Charlie had ever met. But, that didn't stop the adults from making comments or threats. In Charlie's opinion, that was scarier. He could handle himself in a fight but who's going to listen to an eighteen year old boy when an adult is involved? Especially a boy like Charlie? Charlie also knew because of this Jack wasn't one for PDA. If there was a kiss it was nighttime or somewhere relatively hidden. Charlie didn't mind because he knew Jack was just trying to keep them safe. So, he had become comfortable with what he could get, which often was an arm around the shoulder.</p><p>"So, where first?" Jack asked and Charlie thought for a moment.</p><p>"I've got a list but let's take our time. We have all day to kill before the fair later," Charlie decided.</p><p>"I agree, let's just...relax," Jack shook out his limbs in an obnoxious manner and Charlie fell into a fit of laughter.</p><p>"You look like Goofy," Charlie wiped a tear and Jack laughed.</p><p>"Pfft, I wish," Jack fanned himself and Charlie shoved him playfully. It felt nice to have this again. This comfort and laughter, it was different than the type of laughter Charlie got with his friends. It felt warmer and anytime he could get Jack to smile was a win for Charlie.</p><p>They went a good two hours with no trouble. No comments or threats from anyone and Charlie was beaming. He almost felt like he wasn't stuck in Brooksville or the-most-horribly conservative-home-to-every-ism-in-the-booksville. But, something had to give at the couples' expense. It always did.</p><p>Charlie and Jack decided to grab lunch at a small restaurant in the market. It was relatively close to the farmers market and Charlie figures they could start shopping for food then. Raven always said Charlie was the worst to grocery shop with an empty stomach. They walked inside with the small ding of the bell and found a booth by the large window. The plush red seats were warm from the sun and Charlie was grateful, he hated feeling cold.</p><p>"I'm starving," Jack opened the small menu and scanned it eagerly. Charlie rolled his eyes at Jack practically drooling.</p><p>"Well, I'm gonna run to the car real quick and grab my jacket. It's kind of cold in here," Charlie slid from the booth and Jack looked up with concern.</p><p>"Are you sure? Want me to go get it?" Jack asked and Charlie waved him off.</p><p>"Please, I'm a big guy. I can handle myself. I can tie my own shoes and everything," Charlie winked and left the restaurant to head to the car. It was a good distance away from the diner so Charlie held his phone close and kept his head down. Although it's been a quiet day, Charlie is an easy target when he's alone. And more than anything he wanted to avoid trouble.</p><p>"Holy shit. It must be Christmas," a voice cut through the air and Charlie's heartbeat began racing. That voice brought back ghosts of bruises and blood. It brought back fists and a dreadful feeling of helplessness.</p><p>Charlie thought about how to lose him and more importantly avoid injury. An alleyway was an easy choice but a stupid one. Jacob would have him pinned and beaten in a second. Charlie felt his legs tremble as he bit his lip and picked up the pace.</p><p>"You weren't trying to run away were you?" A grip held onto the back of Charlie's shirt and he was yanked backwards. Charlie's entire body hit the ground in a heap of limbs. His lungs gusted out whatever air was inside of them leaving him breathless. He wheezed and coughed before quickly getting to his feet.</p><p>"Jacob, just leave me alone," Charlie sighed.</p><p>"That can't happen because your little Jew friend decided to clock me last week. And it will be so much more delicious to have him see you suffer because of his actions," Jacob approached and Charlie gritted his teeth and held his ground. Despite popular belief Charlie knew how to fight. He had to learn after the bullying got worse, but that didn't mean he enjoyed it.</p><p>"Eye for an eye pretty boy," Jacob spat and sent a punch to Charlie's face before he could even react. Charlie's head whipped backwards and he felt instant pain. He didn't show it though, he couldn't. Charlie balled his fists and sent a whopping punch to Jacob's face. It wasn't enough to knock him out but it was going to screw up whatever was healing. Charlie felt rushed adrenaline in his body. Fights with Jacob were a matter of life or death for Charlie. He never knew if Jacob would just lose it completely and pull a knife on him. That fear followed him constantly.</p><p>Jacob was angry before but he was furious now. Charlie backed away and attempted to walk but Jacob had other plans. He grabbed Charlie's arm, whipped him around and sent a horribly strong punch right to Charlie's jaw.</p><p>Charlie stumbles to the ground as stars clouded his vision. Dark spots of midnight slowly shadowed the daytime lighting. A horribly strong kick was sent to Charlie's ribs with Jacobs steel toe boots. Charlie cried out in pain and curled in on himself. <em>Please just stop. Please go away.</em></p><p>"Hey! That's enough!" A shopkeeper ran outside and shouted at the two. Charlie saw Jacob book it, but not before a warning look that spoke more violence than any fist thrown that day.</p><p>______ERIK_____</p><p>Erik sat on the couch in an empty home. His mother was at work and his father far gone on a bender. Erik didn't much mind though, the quiet was nice. It finally gave him a chance to think. He was three movies into the Star Wars saga before his phone rang. It buzzed on the whiskey stained coffee table in an almost screaming urgency. He had half the mind to ignore it but something told him it was important. He paused the movie and lazily sat up to answer it. It was Raven.</p><p>"Heya, red," Erik answered. He stood up and stretched his legs.</p><p>"Thank God, can you come over? Charlie sit still!" her voice sounded frustrated and riddled with worry. Erik stopped in his tracks.</p><p>"Raven? What's wrong?" Erik knew in his gut it was Charlie. He always knew when something was wrong with Charlie.</p><p>"It's Charlie, he got in a fight with Jacob and he refuses to go to the hospital despite having just been jumped. He's busted to hell—yes I called Erik because he's the only one that can get through to you," she huffed.</p><p>"What the hell? Is he okay?" Erik asked already racing to the door. He didn't have a car, all he had was his skateboard. Panic was overtaking Erik's vision.</p><p>"No, he needs to go to the hospital but he won't. Keeps saying I'm being dramatic when he isn't crying out over his ribs hurting."</p><p>"I'm on my way," Erik felt like he was falling. Not just because Charlie was hurt but because it had to be his fault. He just knew in his gut this was done to hurt Erik.</p><p>Erik has never gotten from one place to another so fast. To this day he isn't quite sure how he did it. All he felt was dread and regret and guilt. Whatever shades of purple and scarlet covered Charlie was his fault and it terrified him to face that. He didn't ever want to be the cause of Charlie's pain, to let him down.</p><p>Erik tried to stay focused as he passed the skatepark. All he could see was Charlie fixing his scraped knees. He passed the arcade and the ghost of childhood's past chilled down his spine. He passed the Barrens and all he saw was the boy who never let him jump alone.</p><p>
  <em>I'm sorry Charlie. I'm so sorry.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Some Things Are Never Seen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>___________ERIK___________</p><p>Every town has that one mansion that everyone knows about. The outlier in the long line of suburban neighborhoods that infest the land like bugs. It's difference gives it an ominous tone compared to the small town it may reside in. Over the years it receives a haunting story by the local children to make up for its mystery. Maybe someone died and now their ghost roams the hallways seeking revenge or maybe a weird family of the most eccentric sort isolates themselves upon the hill. Whatever that story may be, it sticks with people until they make up the exact way someone so strange would look. Often times the traits include, but aren't limited to, pale sunken eyes and dark greasy hair. Always that of a vampire-like abnormality. Or the family is presumed to be prejudiced and cruel. Because after all, to live in such a wealthy home you must be a naturally spoiled brat.</p><p>Which is precisely why everyone was surprised to find that the Xavier estate belonged to very normal people. Charles and Raven lacked the usual mystery of murderous ghost children. Both being naturally enthusiastic characters with a keen ability to be kind and love sunshine. Although guests hardly made an appearance it wasn't due to prejudice but rather Charles contempt of the place. It's size and cavern-like emptiness was lonely enough but with the lack of usual family warmth it was like Antarctica. The grand marble stairs that led up to ancient mahogany doors were intimidating for everyone.  It was a lonely place for the Xavier siblings to grow up in. That's why they spent so much time away from the giant. It's also why many people don't know that's where Charlie and Raven live. It seems once they found out they became that strange story in the dark. They are reduced to the rich kids while in reality that wasn't them at all.</p><p>Erik had made the walk up that driveway a million times before. Throughout his childhood the shadows and trees that split through the sunlight were familiar. The smooth black pavement that swam under his feet like a rapid river. He usually made the trip by walking which took him a good ten minutes but not today. He could barely feel his legs as he booked up the long tedious driveway and towards that strange giant on the hill. It rose higher and higher as Erik ran to the front door. His lungs ached and burned grasping for oxygen. You would think it was abandoned by the lack of cars in the driveway and signs of life. A few lights shone through the window but other than that it was dead quiet.</p><p>"Charles! Raven!" Erik coughed and bent over as his own bruised ribs jabbed his chest.</p><p>"Holy crap Erik, we are all up in Charlie's room," Raven appeared by the front door and guided Erik up the stairs and towards Charlie's room. Erik struggled to catch his breath as he followed her urgently. He pushed back his sweaty hair and let out deep, hoarse breaths.</p><p>"Do you need water?" Raven questioned frowning at him but he shook his head.</p><p>"I'm going to get you water, go try to talk some sense into my brother. He's irritating," Raven turned back around to grab water from the kitchen. He was secretly grateful she was getting him water because he felt on the verge of death. But, even still, he raced towards Charlie's room at record speed. He wasn't sure what to expect was behind the door. Maybe Raven was being dramatic and he was fine or maybe it was horrible and Charlie was busted to hell. Whatever it was Erik knew it was his fault, he knew that him fighting against Jacob was going to have repercussions but he never thought they would go after Charlie. Did they know? Was Erik obvious about how much he really cared about him? This only created a more nervous energy around him as he halted in front of the door. Compared to the others, it was painted the same boring cream shade but the band poster on the outside created a mild form of individuality. Erik got him that poster many years ago. Erik slicked it back down smoothly in habit before knocking briefly.</p><p>"Charlie?" Eriks head peaked around the corner of the door. The first face he met was not Charlie's but Jack's. He was standing by Charlie's bed with an eerie shadow-like stillness. He looked much different from the boy who showed up at the concert. That soft romantic attitude was washed away and replaced with something Erik couldn't pinpoint. Whatever it was made him uncomfortable. Jack stared at Erik almost like he despised him, which wouldn't be surprising considering how everyone treated Jack after the initial breakup. Especially Erik, who in turn showed up at his house and spoke some truths about the boy. And it occurred to Erik this was the first time they had seen each other, really seen each other, since then. Jack's bitter nature made Erik feel like a bug under a microscope. He cleared his throat uncomfortably before the worry of why he's here far outshined the awkward tension between him and Jack.</p><p>"Is he okay?" Erik saw Charlie's head pop out from around Jack. Erik breath hitched in his already scratchy throat. Guilt entered his body like tar, slow and thick and deadly.</p><p>"I'm fine I can't believe Raven called you here," Charlie's spoke softly. Erik knew something was wrong as soon as he spoke. Charlie had always had this angel-like enchantment in his voice. It was smooth and charming with a peculiarity in the way he articulated words. Like poetry and Sunday afternoons. It wasn't just his accent, it was something deeper. Something that you couldn't quite put your finger on. Whatever it was, it was missing. That usual serene nature behind each delicate syllable was lacking. He sounded pained and vacant. The light hearted annoyance behind his words was no match for the gravely pain in the tone. Some bright red flashing light of warning filled Erik's vision as he approached Charlie. He wished he had X-ray vision or some way to know what extent of injury was by his own fallibility. The labored breathing was enough of a sign that he had been kicked multiple times. And the black eye and scrapes painted a grotesque picture in Eriks' sad mind. Images of Charlie falling and small specks of blood puddling in his soft palms. Slow motion pictures of Charlie receiving injury and insult.</p><p>"Charles, how are you really?" Erik inquired with a breathless urgency of concern. Erik only ever called Charlie by his full name when a situation was dire or he felt like teasing the boy. Erik sifted through the physical pain in Charlie's face to find the soft blue orbs that were glossy from the ghost of tears.</p><p>"I'm okay Erik, really," Charlie lifted his bloody knuckle to lay it on Erik's hand but it hovered mid air. There was a hesitant look in his eyes before Charlie returned his hand to its original place on his own lap.</p><p>"Did you at least get a couple punches in?" Erik attempted to quirk his brow much like what Charlie does. He figured he must have looked funny because a smile appeared on Charlie's bloody lip.</p><p>"Quite a few actually but he's not done. I suppose we should watch ourselves for a bit," Charlie twiddled with his fingers in thought. It felt so strange with all three of them in there, like the energy was thrown off. A delicate ecosystem destroyed by a new predator.</p><p>"Good man, I do think we should at least get you checked out. If not for yourself for Raven and the others. Without you we are all pretty useless and Marina and Angel can't stay organized for their lives. Peaches would be a trainwreck," Erik sat on the bed much to the dislike of a certain boyfriend. Charlie looked at Erik in thought. Erik saw all the small flickers of persuasion implant in his brain like magic. It was true, Charlie only ever really listened to Erik, Erik didn't understand why but he was grateful to have someone's trust.</p><p>    "I suppose it wouldn't hurt. But, don't tell the others, I'd hate for all of them to cause some big scene," Charlie looked between Jack and Erik for confirmation of his request. The two nodded and Charlie smiled.</p><p>    "Okay, well I'm going to change so both of you out," Charlie stood up slowly and tried to keep from any sign of pain. But, Erik was an expert of pain and he knew what to look for. He and Jack left the room and stood outside of the door in silence. A chill traveled between the two like ice and it seemed utterly dormant until Jack seized Erik's arm and dragged him down the hall and out of Charlie's earshot.</p><p>    "What the hell Jack?" Erik tore from his grip in confusion.</p><p>    "This is your fault, isn't it? You screwed up just like you always do and got Charlie hurt in the process," His finger jabbed into Erik's chest with a robust force. Erik stepped back and stared at Jack in silence.</p><p>    "I don't even know why Charlie tolerates you. All you do is screw shit up, and it's always at his expense." Jack continued.</p><p>    "I'm the screw up? Look in the mirror Jack! You're the worst of us all, you come back all smiles and heart eyes which is clearly bullshit. Charlie never walks anywhere alone, not after the shit he's gone through since last year. Where were you, huh? The strong faithful boyfriend when all this went down? I may screw up sometimes but at least I'm always there when Charlie needs me. And you may pretend you're different now, but you aren't. You'll mess up again and you'll break his heart because that's what you do Jack," Erik was the forceful one now. He spoke with bone chilling tranquility.</p><p>Jack's eyes widened as Erik spoke. Jack wasn't used to people spitting back to him much less Erik Lensherr. Jack shook his head and grabbed Erik's shirt but before anything could happen Raven was between them. She looked horribly disappointed and angry with the two boys and sent a frustrated slap to both their cheeks.</p><p>    "What the hell has gotten into you? Are you honestly fighting right now? I suggest you get whatever bonehead beef you have with one another and throw it out the damn window because my brother is injured and needs medical attention and if either of you care in the slightest then you will get it together!" She stomped her foot and Erik nodded slowly. Raven was hell fire in a bottle and the last thing Erik wanted was to be on the receiving end of such fire. Especially with her brother involved, Raven would hang them both if they took another wrong step.</p><p>    "Good. Boys I swear!" Raven straightened her shoulders and shoved the water bottle in Erik's hand before going to check on her brother. Silence grew again and Erik was thankful, maybe it's better if he and Jack just stayed like this. There's no point in befriending him when he so clearly despised Erik. But, then again, there is a point. <em>Charlie</em>, it always circles back to Charlie.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Barely Holding On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Pride Month!!!!!! Remember to love and cherish one another in these trying times!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b><em>_____CHARLIE: ONE YEAR AGO____</em></b><br/>Charlie woke up to the screaming of both his alarm and his sister in the shower. Her new girlfriend, Marina, had gotten her hooked on a new artist and their record had been on repeat in every room of the house for the past month. Charlie knew it wasn't about the music but more that Marina was connected to it. Charlie didn't mind all that much, he was glad to finally see his sister's cold exterior melt away. She deserved that happiness and Marina was nice and her friend Angel was good company. Charlie's hand hit the alarm begrudgingly and with a colossal yawn that left him breathless he stood up. Mornings in the Xavier household were unlike others. For one, they live in a mansion so mornings consisted of maids doing morning work and preparing breakfast for Charlie's parents as well as himself and Raven. There was lots of walking involved which Charlie was grateful for considering how long it took him to really wake up in the mornings. There was also a certain fairytale quality about it all, but Charlie never admitted he saw it that way. The actions of the maids pushing back the curtains to reveal a rising and bright sun on the large hill of isolation was all very whimsical. The way the birds chirped on the tree outside Charlie's window with the small paper cranes hanging around his ceiling were storybook worthy. This sort of thinking is what often got him into trouble. <br/>Colonel Brian Xavier was a complicated man with a complicated past. He held values and expectations of his only given son that stressed the boy out tremendously. He wanted Charlie to be the picture of manhood that he was at that age. He almost always had a problem with the way Charlie dressed, talked and most of all how much he cared. And it wasn't like Sharon Xavier was much better, she'd been sped off a silver spoon the entirety of her life and would do anything to keep that lifestyle afloat. She was hopelessly oblivious to the mental abuse Charles was constantly under. All of this and more were precisely why Charles had left his big secret. There was no way he was going to tell his dad that he was gay. He had seen what their reaction was when Ben and Leo came out together. And Lord knows if that's any consolation to how they would act about him he was fine with keeping that part of himself hidden. Sometimes Raven or Marina would be convincing enough to get Charlie to have fun with makeup but never when his parents were in town. Everything was hidden, suppressed and ignored. So, Charlie stuck to stolen kisses from boys at parties and ignored the ache for something true. Not that that was any easier considering the fact that he was seriously crushing on a certain skater boy. Charlie groaned and put on his mask for the day. The mask to keep his dad satisfied and his mom oblivious. The mask he wore in front of everyone...well almost everyone.<br/>Charlie hummed along to the familiar song playing from his sisters room. He almost debated pretending to be sick and just not going to school. No one would really even notice but then he wouldn't see his friends. His friends who are the only constant in a sea of variables. So, Charlie went to his bathroom and began his tedious morning routine. Another thing the Xavier household runs on is his father's failure to let go of the military intricacy of everything. The smallest details down to a science, it drove Charlie crazy. After wrapping it up Charlie went to his closet to pick out something to wear. The school year was ending soon so the weather was heating up. His usual attire of a sweater and jeans wasn't going to cut it on a day getting up to ninety. He shuffled through his shirts until he came across a plain white shirt with an abstract face on it. Pairing it with a pair of skinny jeans and a belt he threw on a yellow jacket and left his room. <br/>"I know, I'm running late!" She shouted and Charlie shrugged before heading downstairs. The mornings consisted of a heavily scripted conversation with his parents that didn't hold too much weight beyond the normal questions. Sophia, their maid, was setting the table for breakfast as she hurried about. Sitting at the table in his monarch-like glory was the man himself. Speckles of gray popped through his dark hair like salt and pepper. His eyes cast down to today's newspaper. He didn't acknowledge his son with anything but a nod. Charlie's father always did prefer his sister but that didn't bother Charlie. The less criticism from his father the better.<br/>"Looks delicious Sophia," Charlie smiles warmly to the woman who sent a loving wink his way. He carefully dug into the small pile of waffles on his plate. He waited in silence to see if his father had any problems for the day but none came. The silence was deafening until Raven came barreling down the staircase in an old band shirt and leggings. Her fire red hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. She looked stunning but Raven has a natural beauty. She rarely ever had to try to look good. This frustrated Charlie greatly.<br/>"Come on," Raven picked up waffle and gave their father a kiss on the cheek. Charlie opted for a small farewell wave and raced after his sister to the beaten up "Loser Cruiser".<br/>The ride to school is longer than others due to where they live. There's several back roads that can cut a good ten minutes but Charlie wasn't in a hurry to get to school. Something told him today was going to suck and the last thing he wanted was to spend more time at school. So, he rolled down the windows and blasted his and Ravens favorite songs. It was absolutely freeing to be himself. To be away from his father's eye rolls and scoffs.<br/>"I'm sorry about dad," Ravens voice broke the silence between songs and Charlie frowned.<br/>"What about him?" <br/>"That he's an asshole all the time. You're perfect just the way you are," Raven smiled sweetly and Charlie shrugged.<br/>"I mean I do act ridiculous sometimes and maybe I shouldn't care so much. And I dress like a very gay teenager despite me trying so hard to hide it. He's right about some stuff," Charlie's voice wandered off to a darker place as he found himself making up for his dad's morning silence with his own self criticism.<br/>"Charles Xavier! You are perfect and wonderful and dad can kick rocks because one day we are all gonna get out of here and be famous or some shit. Or travel and live in a van together. I don't...I don't want to hear you talk like that," Raven got upset and held Charlie's hand to squeeze it.<br/>"Whatever, don't get all soft now because you've got a girlfriend who's cooler than you," Charlie teased and Raven giggled with a small blush before licking her palm and slapping Charlie's cheek. This earned a scream and scowl from the boy and Raven went into a fit of laughter.<br/>"You're disgusting," Charlie mumbles and Raven nodded in agreement.<br/>___<br/>If Charlie had known what was waiting for him at school he would have gone home. He would have worn a sweatshirt and maybe cleaned off the peeling polish on his nails. He would have been more careful, less...obvious. But he didn't know and he wasn't prepared for what awaited him. There's a cruelty in that. The moments before someone's life gets ripped apart. Charlie had a naive innocence that was taken from him that day. Stolen in the worst of ways.<br/>Charlie parked in his usual spot and yawned as he turned off the yellow vehicle. He checked his hair in the mirror as he always did before getting out.<br/>"Rav, come on," Charlie knocked on her window as she applied her lip gloss. A tinge of jealousy went through him but he pushed it far away. She stuck her tongue out and grabbed her backpack before getting out as well. Raven began going on and on about Marina as the two approached the front double doors. They passed a few students whose eyes lingered a little too long on Charlie but he brushed it off. <br/>After splitting away from his sister Charlie headed to his own locker. Music played in his headphones as he walked rubbing the straps of his bag in thought. About what it would be like to be himself or be somewhere so far from here. Somewhere millions of miles away from his parents and these decaying roots. Or what it would be like to kiss Er—<br/>"Hey, pretty boy wanna smooch!" A boy from Charlie's math class shoved him and made a mocking kissing face. Charlie looked at him in confusion as they all laughed and kept walking.<br/>"Charlie! Oh thank God," Leo suddenly gripped Charlie's arm and dragged him into the empty hallway as the students began clearing out. Charlie yelped in surprise and took his headphones off.<br/>"You scared me, what's wrong?" Charlie frowned as Leo looked at him. It was a strange look, one of panic and sympathy and the truest sadness. His big doe eyes closed for a moment before returning to meet Charlie's.<br/>"Let me, uh crap, okay let me tell everyone I found you," Leo took out his phone and sent a rapidly typed text.<br/>"Leo, what's wrong? What happened?" Charlie began to feel that knowing pit in his stomach spread. The feeling that something awful happened. And what had those boys been going on about? <br/>"Let's get somewhere more quiet," Leo took Charlie's hand. Charlie has known Leo for years and while he almost always was holding  Charlie's hand it was never like this. There was a slight tremble in his palm as he guided Charlie back out into the parking lot. No one stopped them, not caring about them both. But Charlie was growing in both worry and confusion as they went and sat in the bed of Ben's truck. There, they waited five minutes before everyone was running out of the school and towards them. Ben, Alex, Darwin, Hank, Sean, Erik, Raven, Marina and even Angel. They were talking about something but Erik's eyes met Charlie's and didn't leave them once. There was an apology on his lips and his eyes were buzzing wild with emotion. <br/>"Erik what happened?" Charlie asked. Erik swallowed thickly and put two comforting hands on Charlie's shoulders.<br/>"Okay...somebody, we don't know who yet, got pictures of you kissing someone at Leslie's party last weekend. And they took those pictures and posted them everywhere with a lot of things to say with it," Erik spoke softly and almost near a whisper. It didn't register at first. Nothing about the statement rang an alarm until Charlie's brain caught up. Pictures and kissing...Charlie's ears began ringing. He began to feel as if the earth below him had sunk and he couldn't stop falling. He knew exactly who it was and most importantly that it was a <em>boy</em> he had been vigorously <em>making out </em>with on a drunken decision. He didn't remember a lot from that night but the ghost of sweet beer stained lips on his own now remained. As well as the butterflies and the feeling that everything will be okay. But now that memory is corrupted into something hot and sour like sewage water. Charlie was disgusted with himself. He should have known. <br/>Charlie scrambled to his feet as panic struck his usually serene features. Everyone knew...that's why they all stare.<br/>"Erik," Charlie grasped onto him for support as he squeezed his eyes shut. <br/>"Charlie we got it taken down," Erik assured letting his best friend shiver and grip onto his flannel.<br/>"But not quick enough! Everyone knows now! What am I going to do?! What if my dad finds out? Holy shit what if my dad finds out? He will kill me Erik, he really will!" Charlie felt hot desperate tears stream down his fearful cheeks. Because he wasn't lying. His father terrified him and to imagine what he would do if he found out his son was gay was horrifying. The prospect of being kicked out or rejected was something Charlie couldn't handle. He loved his family, despite everything. Sure his dad was kind of an asshole and his mom was an alcoholic stepford wife but still they were it for him. He had been so careful! He was a different boy when around his parents just like Raven was a different girl. But he drank too much and did things that he wouldn't normally do sober. And now he's really screwed up. Erik remained calm and collected as he held Charlie in a hug. Everyone was silent, the world was watching them all.<br/>"Hey, hey I won't let anything bad happen to you, okay?" Erik whispered into his ear but Charlie was too far away to really hear his words.<br/>"It's going to be so bad Erik. It's going to be so bad," Charlie repeated into his wet shirt.<br/>"We are all going to make sure you're okay. No more walking alone, okay? Charlie you are so loved by so many," Erik places a soft kiss on Charlie's coffee stain curls. The warmth made Charlie shiver but he ignored it.<br/>"And the football team wouldn't dare speak bad about you Charlie. You're the reason they are passing their classes," Alex added a light chuckle in hope of lifting Charlie's spirits. It didn't help, nothing helped besides the scent of detergent and fading aroma of cigarettes in Erik's flannel. Nothing helped but the strong lanky arms that wrapped around him like a protector. <br/>"I'm done for," Charlie's voice was down to a depressing whisper as he slowly retreated from Erik's hold. It was true. Charlie knew that the bullying he'd just gotten used to was going to increase tenfold. He knew black eyes were going to become a part of his everyday attire. He knew that derogatory comments were going to be his new music. And most of all he knew that the fire and flame in his father's fist was going to be nothing short of familiar. His life, his hectic lovely life, was over as he knew it. <br/>"Hey, don't talk like that. Please, I'll protect you from whatever shit is coming your way. You are not alone in this." Erik hugged Charlie again and held him tightly letting the steady beating of his heart relax Charlie. And it did after awhile. Charlie's muscles relaxed and his mind cleared up. <br/>"I don't want..." Charlie couldn't finish. He didn't want to be at school but he sure as hell didn't want to go home either.<br/>"Let's go get ice cream," Erik put his arm around Charlie. The rest of the group waited for Charlie's smile of approval and when it came a series of hollers followed. <br/>Everyone knew what this meant for Charlie. This town was cruel and now they were in the thick of it. Not that anyone cared, they would stand up for Charlie in every way possible. A quality especially tested in the following weeks. When the bullying started it was a whole new breed of cruel. It was mocking gestures, foul names and fist fights. It was like Hell at first. The staring and whispering from his classmates. Everyone wasn't discreet about it either but Charlie just kept his head down and did his schoolwork. School was out in a few weeks and Charlie knew that meant it would get worse. Jacob and his goons would make his life hell because they could. Because he was an easy target.<br/>Not to mention his parents had conveniently gone on a business trip after finding out. His father acted as expected and Charlie still gets shivers when he remembers the look in his father's eyes. A wicked mix of disgust and disappointment. It had crushed Charlie, but he supposed his father was cooling down in Las Vegas so he wasn't complaining. In fact he hadn't spoken in awhile. Charlie was recoiling into himself more and more everyday. He hated it but it was safe. <br/>Another week passed and Charlie was speeding to his locker to avoid bullies. He just wanted to get to English. But fate had other plans. <br/>"Charlie, right?" A voice appeared beside his locker and he looked up to the owner. Charlie's cheeks flushed pink at the cheeky smile the stranger was giving him. He was tall and built like he was an athlete but by his attitude Charlie had a feeling he wasn't. He held some code against jocks or something. His dirty blonde hair was slicked back giving way to his grey blue eyes that enticed and enchanted Charlie. And by God he was tall too. The kind of tall you could just curl into on a Sunday aft—<br/>"Anyone ever tell you staring was rude?" The stranger chuckled lightly and Charlie cursed himself. <br/>"Yes, uh sorry, it's just no one really talks to me anymore," Charlie swallows thickly and gets his books.<br/>"Silly thing isn't it? They all treat you like shit why? Because you realized the universal truth that guys are way cuter than girls?" He leaned on the lockers in the most James Dean way. Charlie felt like a schoolgirl as he smirked.<br/>"Anyway, I'm Jack. I just wanted to give you this...I'll see you later blue eyes," Jack put a scrap piece of paper in Charlie's sweaty palm and backed away with a smile. Charlie started after him as he looked down at the paper.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I think you're one hell of a cutie blue eyes and I'd love to take you skating this weekend. Call me: (111)-222-3333</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Charlie clutched the paper and felt heat rise into his cheeks. And for the rest of the day Charlie held his head a bit higher.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Ease</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_____________CHARLIE____________</p><p>His trip to the hospital was brief and to the point. Much to his relief, Charlie was okay sparing a few bruised ribs. Nothing had been broken or lodged out of place by the merciless boots of Jacob. Raven was sure to ask the nurses and doctors hundreds of unnecessary questions but Charlie didn't mind. Her concern was a heartwarming change from her usual sarcasm and rambunctious behavior. He'd been given medication for the pain and his wounds properly cleaned and bandaged. He looked like a proper badass now. Fresh from a fight with that bewitching smile still playing on his lips.</p><p>The doctors had asked what happened but Charlie told them he got into an accident, providing no further explanation. The last thing he needed was the police involved. Saying Jacob's dad was a police officer was an understatement. The man practically ran the town, he was the police. Which is why Jacob got away with so much. And to charge Jacob with assault would be catastrophic. Rationally speaking, a sudden "unexplainable" accident would cause Charlie to never be seen again. Brooksville was corrupt in many ways, but it's police department was on the top of the list. Last summer someone had broken into Leo and Ben's apartment and trashed the place. Vandalizing the exposed brick with derogatory terms and images. The police did nothing once it became clear the two boys were more than just roommates. Charlie remembered spending hours painting over the spray paint with Leo as he cried with this look of expressionless defeat. Leo died a little every time he had to cover it up. Like an old cut being ripped open. That was enough to teach Charlie that going to the police, despite his parents' influence, wasn't an option.</p><p>Three hours, lots of paperwork and a long talk later the small clan was back in the roughed up yellow vehicle. Charlie sat in the front with Raven due to Charlie being suspended from driving for at least two weeks. He also was keeping an eye on her driving which was dodgy at times. Her painted nails tapped on the steering wheel as she headed towards the Xavier estate. Charlie was itching for a shower wanting the bleached powdery stench of a hospital room out of his hair and off his body.</p><p>As the car ride continued he was noticing an increasing tension in the backseat. And the devilish glare of Raven to the two boys was alarming. Everyone had been relatively quiet the whole ride but Charlie chalked that up to courtesy. He had complained about an oncoming migraine earlier in the day. But, he assured them he was fine now but the silence was still deafening, he was becoming concerned. Charlie turned in his seat despite the pain that shot in his ribs when he did so.</p><p>"What the hell is going on? Have we all gone mute?" Charlie asked with a hint of annoyance. He quirked his brow and looked between the two. </p><p>Jack had always been an A+ liar. He was able to weave some very convincing bullshit if he really wanted to. Getting the two out of trouble numerous times. But it was haunting, the way his eyes can change in an instant and his face flicker between false emotions like an untamed flame. It had been scary in the beginning of their relationship. Charlie couldn't ever really be sure if he was talking to the real Jack or the made up public version. He had learned to live with it until Jack properly opened up, which had taken much time. Charlie had learned why Jack was such a good liar after one conversation with his parents. It was a survival tactic.</p><p>Erik on the other hand couldn't lie for shit. He would get sweaty and stutter and turn into a blubbering mess. Charlie thought it was rather adorable. His blue eyes would widen and he'd get this look of instant guilt, even if he hadn't done anything wrong. Also, Charlie knew every crevice and imperfection on Erik Lensherr's face. He knew how it molded and changed with each passing emotion better than he knew anything else. He knew how he could say one thing but have a whole conversation through pure eye contact. Erik was an open book, with all his scars and imperfections. Never able to lie about how he's feeling, at least not completely. This being true, it was only natural that when Charlie sought out the truth he always looked to Erik.</p><p>"Nothing," they spoke in unison. But Erik's eyes were hesitant in the lie. They flickered slightly to Jack before looking away again.</p><p>"Did you two get into an argument or something?" Charlie questioned again and his pink lips twisted into a frown. What had they possibly gotten into an argument about in the five minutes Charlie wasn't there? What was so drastic that the whole energy was thrown off?</p><p>"No, of course not. Just hungry, right Erik?" Jack has a sweet voice. The one that pulled away all of Charlie's worries and concerns. The one that said 'don't worry about it babe'.</p><p>"Yeah, just glad you're okay," Erik patted Charlie's shoulder. The gesture let Charlie know that they had in fact gotten into a heated argument. Charlie frowned at Erik before letting it go and turning back around. A) he wasn't getting answers and B) because his chest was beginning to squeeze with his breathing. He rubbed it uncomfortably before turning the radio up. He ignored the wounded looks from the two boys, Instead unrolling the windows and letting the song ring in his ears.</p><p>_________________ERIK___________________</p><p>Charlie had stormed off up to his bedroom as soon as they got home. Erik knew he messed up by getting into it with Jack. Charlie wanted the two to get along but for some cosmic reason something never clicked. They were too different. Especially back then and now it's more complicated because now there's feelings involved.</p><p>"You both should go. Charlie needs rest and I've got to explain to our parents what happened and quite frankly you both are pissing me off," Raven practically growled with her arms crossed. Erik felt a pang in his chest but he nodded.</p><p>"Okay, yeah, just let us know when he's up," Erik cleared his throat and headed for the door. And for a minute he could feel what it was like. What it felt like being little, skateboarding through the halls when no one was home. A hysterical Charlie giggling madly behind him. It was something straight out of a Hallmark film. He could smell the old museum smell coming from Charlie's dad's office as you grew closer. The days where parents were mythical forms of perfection and childhood was in endless supply. In the days where parents didn't use words as weapons and the vision of drunken fathers was nothing more than a bump in the road. Back when the love that swelled in his small chest was nothing but pure happiness with no undesirable side effect of heartbreak.</p><p>Erik grabbed his board and with one final look to Charlie's bedroom window, almost like a prince would in a fairytale, he skated towards nowhere in particular. All he knew was he needed company, anything would be better than the stifling company of his own demons.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>Erik's mind must have had some clue of where to go because when he finally did slow down enough to see the world around him he was outside a familiar home. The wind chimes ringing in the silence like a soft song beckoning him closer. Erik hummed in curiosity before walking up to the door as he did a few days ago.</p><p>"Erik? Hey," Emma looked slightly surprised but all the same happy to see Erik.</p><p>"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted a proper tour of the town? It's a nice day," Erik asked, not really knowing where the confidence came from. Maybe it was his own brain protecting itself with this distraction. With this girl. Maybe he should feel guilty about it but every time he does the image of them at the concert stings his eyelids.</p><p>"Oh, yeah sure let me grab my jacket," Emma disappeared for a second before returning back with a zip up hoodie on over her old t-shirt and running shorts. She looked rather beautiful Erik thought.</p><p>"Here, we can take the van." Emma motioned to a pastel pink vintage van with the words 'Frost's Flowers' stuck on the side. An abundance of flowers were painted all over the van. Erik could make out a couple roses and daisies but the others were more complicated. A smiley face antennae wobbled on the front hood which made Erik smile softly.</p><p>"Frost's Flowers?" Erik asked after a moment's observation and Emma nodded.</p><p>"My mom's a florist and this baby runs purely on flower power," she winked before getting into the pink vehicle. Erik chuckled and got into the passengers side. It smelled like pure happiness inside. A series of small hula girls danced on the dashboard to the silent song provided by the bursting sunshine. A pair of fuzzy dice and dried flowers hung on the mirror which Erik assumed the smell emanated from. All in all, it was the nicest car Erik's ever been in.</p><p>"So, where to first?" Emma started to car with a rumble and the sudden burst of Fleetwood Mac coming from the speakers. She shouted in surprise before turning it down.</p><p>"There's this really cool arcade, the old movie theatre and Jaybird's. It's up to you," Erik listed his favorite spots and Emma sat in thought for a second.</p><p>"What's Jaybirds?" She asked and Erik's eyes widened.</p><p>"What? Oh my God...Emma, I thought you were cool," Erik tutted.</p><p>"What? I just moved here! How am I supposed to know?"</p><p>"It's like universal knowledge that Jaybird's is the best place in this God forsaken world. We are going there right now. You've lost your choosing privileges," Erik shook his head and threw his hands around as if she was ridiculous. Emma looked at him strangely before falling into a fit of laughter and putting her hands up in surrender.</p><p>"Okay, fine well point the way captain," Emma began backing out of her driveway as Erik turned up the music again having replaced Fleetwood Mac with his own mixtape Raven made him. Temptation by New Order began playing in the speakers and Erik nodded along. His eyes flickered over to Emma who was humming along as well and suddenly Erik felt a bit better. In this flower power run van with this new girl of mystery listening to this song...something rearranged. Erik rubbed his chest as a small ache disappeared, almost like his heart was healing a bit.</p><p>"Here cool guy," Emma handed Erik a pair of aviator sunglasses and she put on a pair of Lennons. With the windows rolled down it suddenly felt like a dream and that small whisper of guilt disappeared because he really liked Emma and he was genuinely excited to spend the day with her.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading and as always sending good health and happy vibes your way!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Good Side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>______________ERIK_____________</p><p>At first glance Jaybirds Diner was nothing special. Just another old twenty four hour in a run down town with authentic vintage décor. Something worthy of a photograph, but nothing extending that. But, to the locals? It was the only real place that held any interest. Sloan and Fred Marsh had inherited it from their parents continuing a tradition that went farther back than anyone was certain of. But, what everyone was certain of was the way it seemed to add some light to the dull town. The Marsh's seemed to be the only adults in town willing to let teenagers gather and celebrate. Small pieces of evidence made that clear. An old Peaches poster with a picture of Marina and Angel. A wall decorated ceiling to floor with polaroid's of customers long forgotten and teenagers lost to adulthood. Family portraits of the owners, it was a second home to the lost youth of the decaying town. A beacon of hope in the war at home.</p><p>Sloan and Fred have become accustomed to the drag of a particular teens shoes against the laminate flooring, oftentimes followed by lighter pitter patter from his dearest friend. But, today was different. That familiar scuff was followed by a new sound.  A pair of feet that didn't belong to Charles Xavier.</p><p>"Erik! It's been awhile sweetie," Sloan pokes her head out in curiosity causing Erik to smile. Her graying brown waves fall long and smooth down her back. Small tendrils falling in her face as she smiles. Erik always enjoyed her company. Her stories of times Erik could only experience through music were extraordinary. Her life was like a super cut of dreams before she took over Jaybirds.</p><p>"I know, sorry about that, a lot happened with the band and...stuff," Erik offered a crooked smile as she embraced him. She always smelled like sugar and lavender, even though she's in a diner all day.</p><p>"Who's this lovely lady?" Sloan motioned to Emma and Erik nearly forgot she was there.</p><p>"Oh! Sorry, yeah this is Emma she just moved here. She's getting her official tour today. Emma this is Miss Sloan Marsh she owns Jaybirds with her brother Freddie." Emma went to shake her hand but received a wholesome hug instead.</p><p>"We hug around here girl," Sloan giggled and let Emma go.</p><p>"So, where's Charles?" Fred walked up from the kitchen wiping his calloused hands on a stained cloth. He had a quirked brow and questioning look. Erik tried not to let his stomach lurch at the name as a smile crept up.</p><p>"He's at his house with Raven. He's sick," Erik lies swiftly and with very little conviction. Sloan knew he was lying but also knew that he was sparing details for a reason.</p><p>"Well, tell him we hope to see him soon. You two go find a seat now and Emma, don't let this one get you into too much trouble," Sloan teased.</p><p>"A little trouble isn't so bad," Emma nudged Erik playfully and a light shade of pink spread up Erik's neck in response. He liked that feeling. It felt like a stolen summer breeze on his chilled skin...he could get used to it.</p><p>Erik guided Emma to the booth he always sat in by the window. He was sure to stay ahead of her to avoid her realizing his rosiness. As they sat down there was a feeling of calm in Erik but also this sudden excitement. Emma studied the menu with critical eyes. She really was quite pretty, very mysterious in personality but wore her emotions on her sleeve.</p><p>"If it isn't my favorite little skater boy," Carmen walked up with a notepad and pen. Carmen was a girl a couple years older than Erik. She had jet black hair that stopped just above her shoulders and was almost always pinned back. Her dark eyes and speckled face had made her popular with the guys in high school but Erik never saw her that way. She was pretty, sure, but to him she was always the girl hanging around the skatepark. Sometimes skateboarding but most of the time she was just hanging with the guys. Her nature comes off a bit flirtatious but she's harmless and exceptionally kind.</p><p>"Carmen? When did you start working here?" Erik asked and she shrugged.</p><p>"It's summer, I need a car and Sloan mentioned she was short handed," Carmen summed up.</p><p>"Good for you, this is Emma she's new," Erik motioned and Carmen smiles her pearly white smile.</p><p>"I'm Carmen, I've known Erik since he was busting his lip on concrete," she giggled and Emma nodded with a smile.</p><p>"It's her first time here so go ahead and give us the Works," Erik winked at Emma in assurance.</p><p>"You're in for a treat," Carmen walked off leaving the duo alone again and it was silent for a moment. Not necessarily uncomfortable but certainly not what Erik wanted. Silence had a way of bringing back certain emotions he particularly struggled to hide.</p><p>"I'm trusting you Erik, if this place isn't the best food I've ever had in my life...I'm suing," Emma spoke finally.</p><p>"Fair enough." Erik shrugged with a smile.</p><p>By time the food hit the table Erik had an excited pair of eyes on Emma. She studied the food at first, just taking it in. A basket of fries, extra crispy, covered in an assortment of colors from seasoning. Two burgers sat beside them, both falling apart from all the toppings and secret sauce. A pair of chocolate milkshakes complete with the classic red and white striped straws were given as well. The smell was enough to make anyone come running but not Emma. She took it in with curious and hungry eyes. Erik watched her in interest as she finally looked back up to Erik.</p><p>"Okay, here we go," Emma gripped onto the sloppy burger and with a thoughtful smile and closed eyes she took a significant bite. Her face twisted and Erik's heart dropped. Does she not like it?</p><p>"Holy shit," Emma mumbled through food in animated delight.</p><p>"Told you Frost. Best diner in the world," Erik shrugged and then dug into his own food.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>"So, where exactly are you taking me?" Emma inquired as Erik led her through the rocky ridges of the Barrens. The day had started later than Erik thought because by time they left the diner the sun was starting its descent. It sprayed lovely shades of orange and pink across the formerly blue sky. Stars peeking through the clouds hastily craving attention from those below. Erik let the cool summer air fill his tired lungs, an emotional exhaustion ran through him momentarily. Residue from the past week and the rollercoaster of sentiments that either screamed or lacked.</p><p>    "Somewhere special," Erik nodded his head for her to follow. There was a heavenly spot where the sunset was particularly beautiful. And any right of passage was done so through a visit to the Barrens.  It was the most intimate invitation Erik could provide. Erik pushed branches out of Emma's way as she found her footing through the tall grass and trees. It was getting harder to see as the forest thickened but the rays of sunshine still provided a breadcrumb trail to the clearing. There was an odd hush over the forest tonight as this newcomer walked on the trail. Erik just hoped this wasn't too cheesy or lousy of him. He knew Emma had trouble fitting in and if any place was neutral ground it was here. But, he also felt like he was violating some secret code bringing her here. This was a hidden spot, what if he was breaking some unspoken rule? Would everyone be pissed?</p><p>    "Just past there, go ahead." Erik motioned and Emma squinted her eyes in doubt before walking ahead of him.</p><p>    Due to the location of the clearing and the dangerous drop off on one side you got a unique view of the sunsets in Brooksville. The lake below reflected the thousands of stars and colors like a crisp mirror. The colors in the sky could be seen kissing the tree line on the other side of the lake like cotton candy. It was beautiful for sure, one of Erik's favorite things to experience. And now he brought this beautiful girl here who probably thinks he's weird for doing so. Erik rolled his eyes at himself before shaking out his nerves and breaking the hidden treeline barrier before the clearing.</p><p>    It sort of took his breath away at first. A slight breeze blew Emma's hair to the side in an unrealistically beautiful manner. Flashes from lightning bugs surrounded her like a dance. Her oversized hoodie slacked off one shoulder from the small hike and her boots were a little dirty as well.She was completely still as she faced the cliffside. Erik followed her gaze and realized their timing was rather perfect. It was hazy in the bright sunset lighting but the lake's reflection was gorgeous. A small smile of success creeped on Erik's chapped lips as he approached her statuesque figure. He dared to look at her for a second. Her ice blue eyes were wide and her pink lips opened slightly in awe. She was blissfully unaware of his presence as she just took in the view.</p><p>    "Beautiful isn't it?" Erik spoke breathlessly.</p><p>    "What is this place?" Emma let out a giggle of disbelief.</p><p>    "This is the Barrens. The only place in this entire town that isn't tainted with bad memories. Charlie and I found it when we were little," Erik explained and Emma had this dreamy look on her features that was admirable.</p><p>    "It's amazing, can you swim in that lake?"</p><p>    "Oh, yeah. This is where we all hang out and swim. That very tree stump is where Peaches came up with their name and that patch of grass is where Hank got the call for his scholarship. This place is magic. You'll swim in that lake more times than you can count this summer," Erik promised and Emma nodded.</p><p>    "Does this mean I'm like officially part of the group?"</p><p>    "I guess so, but you can't tell anyone about this place. It's sacred," Erik whispered and raised an eyebrow causing her to cross her heart like a scout.</p><p>    "Never," she giggled. She returned her eyes to the sunset and there was a kind silence. Erik's stomach went wild with boyish delight that she approved of all of this. It wasn't like he needed her approval but the fact that she loved it made him happy.</p><p>    "You're pretty cool, Erik." Emma whispered before kissing him softly on the cheek sending electricity through Erik's body. His palms began to sweat in his hoodie pocket as he looked at her with wide eyes.</p><p>    "And you're adorable when you get caught off guard like that," Emma added before laying her head of white hair on his shoulder. Erik let a genuine smile reach his lips as he leaned into Emma's touch. Erik took a deep breath and let himself be happy with no conditions. No guilt or thoughts of others. He deserved this, this happiness and butterflies. Because he actually liked this girl and she wasn't just a distraction. She was someone who noticed and liked him despite him being brooding and strange. And as the trees swayed creating an acoustic song of nature, he felt at peace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Dreams Go to Die, While Having Fun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>_____________CHARLIE_____________</p><p>When the Xavier children were younger they chose rooms directly parallel to one another in hopes to discourage any monsters from invading. And as years passed and they realized monsters weren't real but rather nightmares were, the same logic applied. More nights than they could count the two would find themselves sneaking across the dark oak hall after a nightmare. Talking until the early hours to distract from whatever fears decided to plague them. They lived in a rather large home and more often than not it felt cold and empty despite the maids and business meetings. The slightest noises would echo sharply off the walls and the art deco furniture created wicked shadows on the walls. Charlie sometimes felt like the Xavier estate wasn't a home at all but just a really appealing prison.</p><p>    A week had passed since the incident and Charlies bruises and cuts were healing as they should. His mother had made him bed bound for the majority of that time but Charlie couldn't blame her. He was sure he was a horrible sight to see after returning home. His mother had pressed for details but Charlie kept it vague. He knew his father would get involved and that would escalate anything that was already coming his way. He also knew that his father still resented him to some extent and wasn't completely torn up to see Charlies bloody knuckles and bruised body. Sometimes he felt as if his father kept a chart, serving points of how masculine Charlie would be. Taking away a certain amount every time he painted his nails or had Jack over for dinner. Only ever adding points when he survived a fight. It was a bad thing to think but it wasn't too far off in a rational sense. All Charlie knew was after this final year of high school was over he was leaving this tired town for good. They all were.</p><p>After nurses visits at home and a week of bedbound care Charlie's mom finally allowed him to be mobile. It was a relief. He missed his friends dearly and couldn't wait to see them. He and Raven had grown increasingly bored with their prison like containment. Of course, Raven could leave at any time but she decided to not let Charlie suffer alone. And her random acts and spaztic movements proved she was particularly missing one girl.</p><p>"Hey, you ready?" Charlie knocked on Raven's door gently. Music was blaring from her record player and Charlie rolled his eyes. There was a fair tonight and everyone was meeting up at <em>Chilling Adventures, </em>an old ice cream parlor that served fifty cent cones during the fair. Some accomodation for the summer heat. Charlie went back to his own room and gave himself one last once over in the mirror. He had decided on a pair of skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with the unironic phrase "I feel like 2007 Britney" on the front in bold red lettering. It was a gag gift he got from Angel last Christmas and he was waiting for summer to hit to show it off. His hair was particularly curly today for reasons unknown besides fate. Charlie felt nice about his appearance and overall was just excited to see his friends.</p><p>"Yes! I've been waiting for that shirt," Raven snuck up and giggled when she saw his reflection. She was wearing a cropped tank top and vintage jeans she got from Goodwill a few weeks ago. Her red hair was in two braids and she looks something out of a music video from the 90's. Complete with a black bandana.</p><p>"I figured, why not?" Charlie shrugged.</p><p>"Well, let's get going. I miss my girlfriend and I'm sure Jack has been miserable without you," Raven patted his back as she went to grab her jean jacket just in case. Nights tended to freeze up pretty fast around here so Charlie grabbed a track jacket of his own.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p><em>Chilling Adventures</em> stood within walking distance of the fair so the whole gang decided to meet there. Many were carpooling with one another and by time Charlie and Raven arrived everyone was sitting on the curb. Well, almost everyone.</p><p>"Holy shit he lives!" Alex came plundering over to Charlie with a hefty hug. Charlie ignored the feeling in his ribs and hugged the boy back.</p><p>"We missed you," Sean high fived with a smile.</p><p>"Get a room! It's been what? A week!" Angel put out her cigarette as she yelled at Marina and Raven whose reunion was going how everyone expected. Angel brought Charlie into a hug and smiled.</p><p>"I'm glad you're better, big shot. And that's the shirt! Hell yeah Britney!" Angel's raspy voice made Charlie feel a certain level of comfort and familiarity.</p><p>"Where's Jack, Erik and Emma?" Charlie asked after a beat.</p><p>"Erik's carpooling with Emma and I don't know about Jack," Darwin shrugged, tucking his calloused hands in his pockets.</p><p>"Erik carpooling with Emma?" Charlie questioned.</p><p>"Crap, I forgot you've been under house arrest. Yeah, they are like a thing now I guess. You can imagine how exciting that is for everyone," Angel informed sarcastically.</p><p>Charlie felt a sudden weight in his chest expand. A thousand stabbing needles carving into his ribs and puncturing all his essential organs. He felt his palms get sweaty and a heaviness hit his head. Emma and Erik together? When did this happen? And how? Wait, he should be happy for him. He deserved to have someone care for him that way. Erik deserved that and Charlie shouldn't care! He's with Jack and they are...happy. So why on Earth does Charlie feel so angry?</p><p>"Speak of the devil!" Darwin pointed to a rather flamboyant looking van that made everyone laugh. Over the lighting of the setting sun you could make out "Frost's Flowers" on the side. Charlie swallowed the lump in his throat and shook out his nerves in his hands. He didn't know how Erik reacted in a relationship because Erik's never had one. But, despite everything Charlie didn't know if he could handle Erik being overly cuddly with her all night.</p><p>"Oh my God!" Erik jetted over to Charlie and lifted him up off the ground which was a rather easy maneuver for the teen. Erik smelled like flowers and cologne. His face was all lit up in excitement and Charlie's was as well. This was home. Being surrounded by these people was what Charlie considered his only reason for keeping on. Charlie couldn't help but to land a soft kiss on Erik's cheek. But, even though he'd done it a million times, it felt different. There wasn't that usually burst of electricity and Charlie slightly deflated. Although, he would never let that show. It's not like he likes Erik like that. He got over that crush ages ago. But, still some part of it hurt.</p><p>"Now! Let's get some ice cream and head to the fair," Sean whooped and he and Angel ran to the doors of the parlor.</p><p>"Where's your beau?" Emma inquired and Charlie realized Erik was now holding her hand. There was a distance now, something that made it hard for Charlie to breathe.</p><p>"Not sure, you two love birds head inside. I'm gonna call him real quick," Charlie waved them off and Erik looked at him with thin eyes.</p><p>"Emma, you can go in I'll wait out here with Charlie," Erik decided and Emma shrugged and jogged inside after Marina started waving for her to 'hurry her pretty little ass up'.</p><p>Charlie dialed Jack's number and waited as it started ringing.</p><p>"Hey, are you coming?" Charlie asked as Jack answered. There were muffled words in the background and Charlie shifted his feet uncomfortably.</p><p>"Yeah, I can't make it my mom's kind of in a weird place right now and doesn't want to be left alone. I'll call you tomorrow, eat extra funnel cake for me," Jack spoke quickly and hung up. Charlie was used to the urgency of a call and the sudden hang ups. That's just how things were with Jack. But, this time felt different. There was a thickness in Charlie's blood that pushed through his heart. Jack was lying but what about Charlie wasn't even sure he wanted to know. Charlie let the phone fall from his ear and he bit his lip for a moment before tucking it away. Great, now he would be stuck alone surrounded by couples all night. Joy.</p><p>"So, you and Miss Frost?" Charlie raised an eyebrow and layered on a teasing tone. Erik immediately went red and cleared his throat.</p><p>"Whipped! Come on loser," Charlie chuckled dryly.</p><p>"Hey, Charlie, he isn't coming is he?" Erik asked.</p><p>"No but it's fine. I...let's just have fun."</p><p>"Bu--"</p><p>"Please," Charlie begged and Erik nodded. He took his lanky arm and put it around Charlie just like he always did. But even that felt different.</p><p>Inside, everyone was already ordering their ice creams like maniacs. Charlie and Erik joined the small crowd and ordered two chocolates. The worker was laughing as he handed out the cones to the small crew of teens. Everyone hastily licked the frozen treat with that well-known childish wonder. And by time they arrived at the fair the ice cream and the cones were far gone.</p><p>Charlie talked to Darwin and Alex about what had happened but he couldn't help but to have his eyes drift every now and again to Emma and Erik who were holding hands and laughing about something. <em>She makes you laugh. That's good, you should allow yourself to smile more. I love your smile.</em></p><p>"But, you like rocked his shit right?" Darwin caught his attention and Charlie scoffed.</p><p>"Obviously," Charlie held up two slightly bruised knuckles and received high fives from both football players. <em>Did I ever make you laugh like that? I hope I did...</em></p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Losing Pieces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>________________ERIK____________</p><p>The Fair was always something of a high point in the summer. A reliable event for the locals to hold onto as winter trudged by. The familiar warmth of powdered sugar on greasy snacks and the dissolving cotton candy that flew in the air like billowy clouds. There was an innocence in it all. The children's laughter that made a song with the sirens and music that came from the rides. And even though it was the same every year, walking into the fair was as if seeing it for the first time. No matter the age. Erik walked beside Emma whose big eyes were reflecting all the colors created by the neon lights on the rides. Her lips fell into a small 'o' as she took in everything around her. A small smile crept up on Erik's chapped lips as he began to feel more comfortable. His larger hand holding her softer, less beaten up one. Erik was never all that good with people. He's stuck to the same group of kids for the longest time and rarely ever added a new face to his life. It was safer that way, easier to avoid getting made fun of or abandonment. He always counted on Charlie to do the talking for him and that's mostly why they worked so well. But, now with Emma,  Erik is treading new waters and he's doing it alone. He's never done anything romantic in his life. The only example of love he was ever given was whatever bullshit his parents have at home. And he was almost sure that's not how you treat people you love.</p><p>"Is Charlie okay?" Emma's voice cut through Erik's thoughts. A little alarm going off at the sound of that name.</p><p>"Yeah, he's fine." Erik assured Emma despite his uncertainty. Of course Charlie seemed fine on the outside but Erik knows that the boy could be having a panic attack and not let a single soul notice. Charlie had always hated worrying people, justifying that he can handle it on his own. But, Erik knew that mindset rooted from Mr. Xavier. A horrifying man who had always made Charlie feel like he was a burden. This is something Erik has spent years trying to remedy. He had become accustomed to Charlie's reclusive tendencies and the warning signs in his expressions. The microscopic movements of his thumb rubbing his sweater sleeves. The hair ruffles Charlie did as a self soothing method. Erik knew when Charlie was not okay. The boys had gotten to the point where Charlie confides in Erik for everything. Yet Charlie was hiding again. Erik could feel him slipping very slowly through his fingers and he wondered why. What changed so suddenly?</p><p>Erik spares a glance behind him. A small movement that led his eyes to Charlie's face. He was practically radiating. A glowing bright smile was stretched on his soft features as laughter bubbled from within him and into the vast universe. His curls were messier than usual and fell slightly into his face. He still had a small echo of injury in his movements but Erik could tell he was trying to hide it.<em>It's okay to be in pain Charlie. You don't have to be superman all the time. Let someone be your hero every now and again. </em>Erik's thoughts developed and spilled into his stomach like acid. Next to Charlie was Angel who in all her vintage wrapped majesty had a comforting arm around his shoulders. <em>Can she sense your pain too? Does she know your hurting?</em> A pull gripped his heart before he broke his gaze and turned forward again.</p><p>"Hey, wanna ride the Ferris Wheel?" Emma pointed to the colossal ride that held far more meaning to her. Erik imagined himself in a movie. Maybe some romcom that would make his stomach hurt from being so cliche. Something that he would secretly love despite it all. The perfect song in the background as that one perfect girl glows in the lights. Was that this moment? Was this his one great love story? Is that why his stomach hurt?</p><p>"Yeah," Erik answered with his crooked shark-like smile.</p><p>"Raven, Marina!" Emma caught the attention of the other couple and pointed to the Ferris wheel. Erik took this to chance another glance to Charlie who was talking to Angel about something. She was giggling about something that was clearly frustrating Charlie. Most likely Angel wanted to smoke and Charlie hated the smell of it. It wasn't an unfamiliar argument between the two but it always made Charlie look adorable.  That's why Erik stopped smoking...well at least tried his best.</p><p>
  <em>Erik rolled up beside Charlie who was sketching something with extreme precision.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What are you up to Picasso?" Erik teased as he took a seat beside him. The skate park was relatively quiet today despite it being the weekend. Charlie shrugged clearly not paying attention. Erik didn't mind, he mostly just enjoyed Charlies company. He didn't care if words were involved or not. Because by Charlie simply being there, he scared off all Erik's fears. It was almost magical. Erik began rummaging through his pockets and took out his squished and battered pack of cigarettes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You shouldn't smoke," Charlie scolded not breaking his eyes from his sketchbook. Erik raised a brow and held the toxic stick between his teeth before talking.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And why not Charles?" Erik mocked.</em>
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  <em>"I'm serious! You...you could get really sick," Charlie finally looked at Erik with this expression he wouldn't soon forget. It was so full of worry and care that it took Erik's breath away. Charlies big blue eyes were practically begging him to throw away the pack and never even think about cigarettes again. It made Erik's heart feel heavy and he slowly took the stick from his mouth and threw it behind him. A swift motion he wasn't even aware of until a smile shone on Charlies face.</em>
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  <em>"Plus, they make you smell awful,"Charlie pretended he was gagging which made Erik laugh.</em>
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  <em>"Fine, I won't smoke anymore. Cold turkey, just for you," Erik winked and threw the rest of the pack into the bushes. The same pack he would return for later after he would find his father in a particularly bad mood at home. But, he wouldn't mention this to Charlie.</em>
</p><p>Erik felt the memory wash over him like a warm blanket before disappearing again. It made him sad and guilty. He could feel the weight of that pack in his drawer at home.</p><p>"Hey, you okay?" Emma asked laying a soft palm on his cheek. Erik shook from his thoughts and smiled to her warmly.</p><p>"Of course," Erik planted a soft and sweet kiss on her forehead before wrapping an arm around her. She smelled like lavender and vanilla which made him smile.</p><p>"Gross!" Sean blew a raspberry at the couples as the rest of the group broke away to go see which one of their resident football players were stronger. Something that was done every year as tradition with the brothers. There was nothing really in it for the winner besides bragging rights every now and again. But, Darwin and Alex always took it upon themselves to make an appoint to make sure they rung that bell every year.</p><p>"Moneys on Darwin! Sorry Alex but I've seen Darwin's workout routine and he's got the advantage," Marina shouted and Alex put his hand on his heart and stumbled as if he was shot. Erik let out a chuckle and shook his head. There was innocence in the exchange that made Erik feel lighter. And he could practically hear the montage music begin in his heavy head.</p><p>___________CHARLIE______________</p><p>Charlie's baby blue eyes watched as Erik boarded the Ferris wheel with Emma. With his<em> girlfriend.</em> How strange of a feeling that gives him. Something teetering on dangerous, emotions that make alarms go off in his head. He hated it, but he wasn't sure why. Erik can do whatever he wants. Erik wasn't his boyf--</p><p>"Okay, Charlie and I are grabbing snacks," Angel announced as everyone headed towards the Strong Man game. There was mumbles of acknowledgment before Angel grabbed Charlies arm and dragged him away.</p><p>"Spill," Angel demanded as she took them away from the fairgrounds and towards the curb just beyond all the noise. Charlie wished he could just lie and say there was nothing to spill. He wished he could run away or forget everything. But, he can't. He never has been able to and more than anything he just wanted to let it all out to someone. That someone being a certain boy that wasn't available at the moment and probably wouldn't be as much anymore.</p><p>"Shit Angel," Charlie sat on the curb and swallowed thickly. A big ball of heartbreak and fear and confusion. Charlies hands trembled slightly as the elevation in his breathing caused his bruised ribs to scream in pain. Angel sits beside him and takes a deep breath.</p><p>"Why isn't Jack here?" Angel asked with the softest voice she could achieve regardless of the natural rasp in her tone. Charlie bounced his leg and debated on telling her everything. It's not like he shouldn't. He's known Angel for years, even before he knew Marina. It wasn't a matter of trust rather than if Charles could actually talk.</p><p>"I don't know. I mean I called him and he said his mom needed him," Charlie's voice trails off in doubt.</p><p>"But?" Angel encouraged.</p><p>"I'm not so sure. It's a feeling in my gut, I just know he's lying. But, why would he lie?"</p><p>"Who knows. Look, I've never been the biggest fan of Jack but putting that all aside I think you should talk to him. You seem like you want to make this work and all but you have to talk to him about it. He said he's changed so give him the chance to prove it," Angel shrugged and leaned her head on his shoulder.</p><p>"He can get so angry though, Angel. And it's so strange how quickly he changes," Charlie voices this for the first time. He's never brought up Jacks mood swings to anyone, not even Erik.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Angel's voice gets more serious and Charlie wishes he hadn't said anything. He feels his palms begin to sweat and he shakes his head.</p><p>"Nothing, nothing it's just...I don't really like being serious with him," Charlie retreated quickly with his words. Angel looked at him with a puzzled and concerned expression.</p><p>"But that's what relationships are. They are serious," Angel justified and Charlie wanted to scream.</p><p>"I guess, I don't know. He's been through a lot, I shouldn't be so judgmental."</p><p>"You? Judgmental? Charlie you're a saint, shut up. And if Jack is doing anything to hurt you...you would tell us right?" Angel takes her hand and holds Charlies face still as to look him in the eyes. Charlie knew his face was pale he just hoped it was drowned out by the neon lights.</p><p>"Charlie," Angel pressed.</p><p>"Yeah, I promise." Charlie nodded and Angel pulled him into a hug. Charlie took in her lemony scent and held her for a moment as images flashed through his brain. Images of who Jack was, the look that would cause fire in Charlie's fearful veins. But, Jack changed. He promised, that wasn't who Jack was anymore. He wouldn't hurt Charlie, at least not on purpose. Charlie hated these plaguing thoughts. These serious thoughts that swarmed in his mind. He wanted to banish them forever.</p><p>"So, I'm craving a funnel cake," Charlie announced and Angel stood up.</p><p>"Now we're talking," Angel tucked her hands in his leather jacket and together the two walked back to the fair. Back to their friends. But, Charlies mind was still on that curb, aching with painful thoughts and half-heartened justifications of things unjustifiable. But, for now, he just wanted to enjoy himself. Even if he was hurting and no one seemed to notice.</p>
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